Okay, I just put two and two together by reading Aaron Wherry’s column and a bunch of other stuff, with side trips to read about Rob Ford and how we’re all getting dangerously close to bullying territory because the guy clearly has a substance abuse problem, and I realized that “Nigel Wright and the Personal Cheque” is a red herring, a made up story, a deliberate calculated lie to lure the spotlight away from the truth.

And that’s why the Conservative Party can’t produce a copy of the payoff to Senator Duffy.

I’m confused, though, as to whether we were renting Head Boy Nigel Wright from Onex or Barrick. Of course, it could be another outfit altogether the way millionaire business people hop around these days.

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we choose to deceive, eh?

http://www2.macleans.ca/2013/05/22/the-commons-the-conservatives-run-out-of-answers/

Seems pretty hypocritical of Conservative politicians to make life more difficult for crack smokers who don’t have great jobs in the public service by keeping crack illegal doesn’t it? I mean, if you can smoke crack while being the duly elected Conservative mayor of Toronto (and there’s no indication that Conservative Ford Nation is any smaller than it was before a video surfaced of Conservative Rob Ford smoking crack with his crew of… Conservative?… drug dealers) isn’t it time to level the crack smoking political candidate field and just say yes to drugs?

And think of all the time saved debating whether or not a video of Rob Ford smoking crack is real if smoking crack was no biggie, like driving and talking on your cell phone or driving and reading or driving and… hey… wait a minute… how the hell did Rob Ford get home from the crack den, anyway?

C’mon, Toronto city council, time to step up, legalize crack, and get a summer crack tourism campaign underway. You’ve got to strike while the iron is hot and right now Toronto is the topic of conversation everywhere. Maybe get Mark Carney to do a little dollar fiddling before he jets off to Jolly Old to sit around holding interest rates steady or whatever the hell English bank governors do all day (seems to me it’s all Canadian bank governors do all day) so we can sell Toronto as not just a great place for temporary foreign workers, but for temporary foreign tourists as well.

You know, get some money coming into the country instead of all of it going out.

And remember, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, so quit with the Toronto the Good shit and get with Toronto’s Got Good Shit.

Way to go, Ford Nation. You rock.

Heh.

But I’m not sure Rob Ford’s crack smoking video should take center stage in the campaign because there’s a moment where he says, “Everyone expects me to be right-wing, I’m supposed to be this great . . .”, and it’s kind of sad.

A downer, as they say.

(Although not as sad as seeing Stephen Harper wave ala Richard Nixon from the steps of the plane last night on the news before jetting off in disgrace to Peru, having held to his government transparency and accountability promise by confirming all rumours that his is up to its beady eyeballs in dirtbaggery with a stubborn, sullen, but refreshingly shamefaced silence. And my gord but he looked extra squeamish sitting in front of his troops whom he’d just addressed, the press shouting questions at him that he pretended not to hear. I mean, I half wonder if the President of Peru knew anything about the trade trip, it looked so much like the general addressing the doomed troops before fleeing the battle field to attend, uh, something, anything.)

But it’s only sad for a second because Rob Ford, like Stephen Harper, has been such a puerile dick to so many people, that, well, he just comes across as whiny and spoiled, as if it’s the fault of Don Cherry’s “Pinkos” that Rob Ford would rather party with a bunch of Conservative? crack dealers than sit through long and boring council meetings with the likes of, well, whoever the other members of Toronto’s city council are.

I live in Ottawa. We had Mayor Larry O’Brien already and we federally-minded Ottawans tried to warn provincially-minded Torontonians about electing an anti-government Conservative politician as their mayor, because we’d just had one, but people don’t listen, do they – not people who vote, anyway. And why should they. The anti-government Conservative politician always stands true to his word that government is bad so tax cuts are good by running government the same way they would run their own business if their own business was run on an endless supply of other people’s money.

(And to be fair, they didn’t elect Tim Hudak, which would have given the inexplicably popular with Conservative voters Stephen Harper the trifecta he so clearly championed at that barbeque he crashed in support of Rob Ford’s run for mayor. And boy, gotta hand it to the Conservative Party because it sure knows how to pick a winner, eh? I mean, Rob Ford could win again. Stephen Harper could win again. Cripes, there’s no telling how long Canadians could enjoy watching the antics of anti-government Conservative politicians in power.)

I mean, I vote New Democrat for the most part and boy did I resent paying taxes this year knowing that Stephen Harper’s Conservative government will get away with not being able to (publicly) account for $3 billion of previously paid taxes (a drop in the bucket when it comes to what Stephen Harper’s Conservative government will get away with not being able to (publicly) account for, you can be sure, before everybody scuttles off back to lobby firms and stink, er, I mean, think tanks). Having worked in government I can assure you, if it wasn’t bad before it sure as hell is now, so why throw good money after bad. And it’s not like I’m having any luck getting hired back into it, so screw anybody else who’s on the public payroll, I say.

Nope. It’s time to capitalize on the drama queen antics of Rob Ford, who has done an incredible job of making Toronto all about him, and roll with The Big Smoke.

After all, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Hey, and if we don’t have enough crack dealers (we don’t) maybe we could get Stephen Harper’s Conservative Party of Canada government to set us up with  TFCDP – the Temporary Foreign Crack Dealers Program!

Today’s lesson in Canadian politics 100, boys and girls, is that as long as a Canadian political party cheats hard enough to win a majority government, it can get caught defrauding taxpayers multiple times and there’s sweet fuck all they can do about it, because the leader of said political party has absolute power and control over everybody and everything in Canada.

Except, you know, maybe anybody who isn’t a crack dealer or tarsands developer could consider not donating to it, at least?

I dunno, maybe the next government, if the Conservatives don’t cheat even harder to win again in 2015, should enact a law making donors accessories to fraud, bribery, extortion, whatever, to discourage the codependent enabling that appears to be part of the problem here.

Mike Duffy must be thanking gord for Rob Ford today, eh?

But gee, I guess we all know now the story the Globe and Mail has been sitting on for a couple of years.

Unless there’s a better story than the one on the front page of the Toronto Star this morning.

You know, the one about Toronto Mayor Rob Ford being a crackhead.

Because if it’s the story about the rumoured Ford brother “dealership” – this one trumps it, so, down low, too slow, Globe and Mail.

NOT that there’s anything wrong with smoking crack, per se, except that it’s illegal and kind of ruins Stephen Harper’s hopes for a trifecta (Toronto, Ontario, Canada – 3 treasuries at the disposal of the Conservative Party).

Ah, memories. This is going to be fun, eh?

I dunno but since Senator Duffy himself claims in an email to auditors that “I stayed silent on the orders of the PMO”, doesn’t that make the PMO’s $90,000 gift to him seem a lot like, well, hush money?