Friday October 24 , 2014

Archive for August, 2007

Right-To-War

I read a great comment the other day on one of those right-to-war blogs. The blog is:
KillKillKill
and the original entry was lifted from:
CanadianIsAsCanadianDoes
and the comment is:
“How many Canadian right-wing bloggers have been killed in combat over there? My understanding is that they’re badly under-represented because they don’t love their country. They’re not real Canadians, of course. I guess we can thank the internet for this pathetic generation of unpatriotic ingrates.”
Posted by: Crabgrass at August 29, 2007 2:24 PM
Basically (if you don’t like clicking on links) the entry questions why all of the Canadian soldiers who have died in Afghanistan are white and male (well, sure they are – if you aren’t going to count the female death and the two black deaths) and then goes on pretty much to complain about how immigrants just aren’t being very Canadian anymore/these days/now that they aren’t all white.
Uh… hunh? No, no, no. As a fourth generation Canadian (with, like – 40 years between each generation, too), let me interject, here. It’s not the immigrants who aren’t being very Canadian – it’s the right-to-war bloggers. Canadian is NOT invading other countries and attemping to impose our Essential Canadianness on the inhabitants. (Essential Canadianness being something we can’t even define ourselves without pointing south and saying, “At least we’re not THAT” – which, all in all, is better’n being THAT…)
Canadian, rather, is welcoming/inviting/soliciting people from other countries to come here and pick up the economic/birthing slack created by our developedness. And you won’t find ANY rich white Canadian males enlisting in the army here. You won’t even find right-to-war bloggers enlisting in the army here. What you’ll find, mostly, are economically deprived Atlantic Canadians enlisting in the army while right-to-war bloggers (from the West, most particularly), bitch about unfair transfer payments, Eastern Canada unemployment statistics, and now – immigrants not enlisting in the Canadian Army to go fight the Taliban in Afghanistan.
Oh, and by the way, right-to-war bloggers, “immigrants” come in a variety of shapes and colours, these days. Income levels, too. The stereotype of the noble poor European has given way to the reality of the the latte-drinking wealthy developer from one of those countries where you can only get rich being rich already swinging deals on his cellphone over lunch in Yorkville.
Update: Here’s another great comment on the same entry. If this comment doesn’t make you feel like a proud Canadian, well, maybe you should take out American citizenship or something (The comment is in response to the question from the right-to-war blog owner as to why he is still there, commenting):
“Why am I still here? I told you, this place is hilarious! The inside of a right-wing mind is such a wonderful, magical place. Like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory… but on acid.
And, I am leading by example. I don’t support the war, so, I am enjoying some nice martinis, voting for Jack Layton, and feeling guilty for being a white male heterosexual. I might hit a gay bar or two if I have time. I’ll send them your love (figuratively, not literally).”
Posted by: The Self-Loathing Multiculturalist at August 30, 2007 11:30 AM
As someone who doesn’t support the war, either, I think I’ll vote for Jack Layton next go ’round, too. Why don’t you join me and we’ll make it an Essentially Canadian thing.

 

The Utopian Election

Say, wouldn’t it be nice if the upcoming provincial election in Ontario featured all three leaders of the main parties, Tory, Liberal, NDP, standing up for something different?
Like, different from each other, I mean.
Imagine John Tory, Leader of the Conservatives saying, “I believe in public funding for private education, public funding for private healthcare, and… a tax cut in the form of a $200 cheque from the government before the next election to be covered in the form of lots of cuts to public services and fees for the ones we contract out to our friends and families.”
And Dalton McGuinty, Leader of the Liberals saying, “I believe in the status quo – public funding for one education system and public funding for a Catholic education system, public funding for SOME private healthcare services, and… no tax cuts, but no tax increases, either – unless I change my mind and increase taxes, which, as you all know by now – or should if you’ve been paying attention – I will do.”
And finally, Howard Hampton, Leader of the NDP saying, “I believe in one publicly funded school system, public funding for public healthcare and ONLY public healthcare, and a tax increase to keep up with the costs of both that will be borne by all taxpayers because we plan to get out of the gambling business that we got into last go ’round.”
Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be, anyway? Three parties, three choices? And if you don’t like any of them, you can vote for one of the fringe parties? Like Green, or Marijuana, or Marxist Leninist?

 

Relevant? Or Just Titillating?

And if it’s just titillating, isn’t that relevant?
I am referring, of course, to this photo of former Mayor Sharon Smith turned unelected, unofficial and completely illegitimate liaison for the people of Skeena-Bulkley Valley to Stephen Harper’s New Conservative Government of Canada (Yes. It’s true. The good people of Skeena-Bulkley Valley elected a New Democrat to represent them and not a Conservative):
HubbaHubba
By the way, a more detailed rundown of the anti-democracy goings on that actually have nothing to do with the photo of Sharon Smith sprawled naked in a chair wearing only the Mayor’s Chain of Office can be found here at:
BloggingADeadHorse
Now, personally, I blame the men in Sharon Smith’s life for the fact that…well.. I blame the men in Sharon Smith’s life for everything to do with Sharon Smith to tell you the truth. She clearly has a hard time saying “NO” to things she shouldn’t do – for the sake of her own credibility, I mean.
And always remember… no wait… never forget – the only thing worse than the political wife, is the political husband. If Sharon Smith’s husband didn’t talk her into taking off all her clothes and posing for him wearing only the Mayor’s Chain of Office – I’ll eat my lipstick. In fact, I’ll go one step further and suggest that he DELIBERATELY left that photo where either of his two sons could find it – which is to say: ON THE FRIGGIN’ COMPUTER! Then, he left town with the Little Woman so that his two sons could have one of those teenaged parties teens are famous for having whenever both their parents leave town – so that the rest, Dear Reader, could be history.
I call it “Svengali’s Revenge”. I don’t know why. I just don’t like the cut of Sharon Smith’s husband’s jib, now that I’ve seen the photo he took of his wife sprawled naked in a chair wearing only the Mayor’s Chain of Office. I can jussssst hear him over the other voices in my head, “C’mon… PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ… Just one picture of you sprawled naked in a chair wearing only the Mayor’s Chain of Office… C’mon… Do it for MEEEEEEEEEE…”
Gee, Dear Wife Readers – recognize that one? Much? A lot? Okay… is there a husband with you right now, right at this very moment saying, “C’mon… PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ… Sharon Smith did it for HER husband… C’mon… Do it for MEEEEEEEEEEE…”
The fact that there’s no towel on the chair is all the proof I need that none of this was her idea. Right, Dear Wife Readers? Am I right? You’d put a towel down on that chair, first, and would NOT sprawl – if it was YOUR idea. Admit it. She’s letting it all hang out. You’d sit up, thrust out, tuck in, pull back, cross legs – whatever it took to look like a sexy pin-up and not some skank sprawled naked in a chair.
Tsk, tsk. Silly Wife Reader. Men LIKE the skank sprawled naked in a chair look. Listen, I was once walking with my husband, chatting away about world politics, and he’s not saying much but he’s looking like his brain’s about to burst with all the knowledge I’m cramming into it, when all of a sudden he goes, “SHH! I’m concentrating!”, like he’s REALLY thinking about all what I’ve been yammering on about – when I notice this woman ahead of us with what I would consider an ample rear-end in need of some toning up (or down), wearing acid-wash jeans TUCKED INTO HER COWBOY BOOTS! and a cheap polyester top WITH HER BRA STRAPS SHOWING! Well, not only was he not listening to me, he was staring at her. To add to this bizarrity, later he asked, “Do you have a pair of cowboy boots?”. Naturally, I said, “Of course not. Cowboy boots are NOT in style.” And yet, in spite of knowing that – he bought me a pair for… well… it wasn’t Christmas… or my birthday… Aaaaanyway, my point is, that photo of Sharon Smith is too… “look at me sprawled naked in a chair wearing only the Mayor’s Chain of Office” to have been her idea.
But, having said that, should we all be gawking at a photo, probably not her idea, illegally obtained and sent around the Internet?
Yes. Is the photo relevant to the fact that her appointment is a complete denial of the democratic process? No. Not really. But it IS a photo of her sprawled naked in a chair wearing only the Mayor’s Chain of Office. I mean – c’mon. How often do you get to gawk at a photo of an unelected, unofficial and completely illegitimate liaison for the people of Skeena-Bulkley Valley to Stephen Harper’s New Conservative Government of Canada sprawled naked in a chair wearing only the Mayor’s Chain of Office?
One quibble, though – since it’s legal to go topless in Ontario, I really don’t see the need to black out her breasts. C’mon, Sharon Smith – Show Us Your Tits!

 

Speaking of Sacrifice

Shouldn’t there at least be a Bill introduced in Congress to ensure that, in order to win a reconstruction contract in Iraq, you must pledge allegiance to the lifelong care of those soldiers who were injured while fighting there?
I mean, what better way could there be for Bush Inc. to show its appreciation to the brave men and women who gave up arms and legs so that Americans (er, and Iraqis, I guess) could live terror-free lives – then to ensure that the financial beneficiaries of their sacrifice, sacrifice some of their financial benefits to those who made it all possible?

 

Practically Speaking

We all support the Mission in Afghanistan the exact same amount.
So really, all you troop supporters are just… well… no different than those of us who don’t support the Mission in Afghanistan at all.
Practically speaking.