Thursday August 28 , 2014

Archive for May, 2011

Stop the Presses!

Blue Ribbon Panel tells Alberta to Save Pennies for Rainy Day!

In other news, Harper Government tells ridings that didn’t vote Conservative to go fuck themselves…

 

How Far Is He Prepared To Go? Just Watch Him!

Stephen Harper has tossed the Canadiana rule book. So, if he can toss the rule book and be ever more professionally successful, why the hell are the rest of us still clinging to it?

I’ve re-written this entry a dozen times in trying to wrap my head around whether we should love ‘im or hate ‘im for it, too. I mean, what the hell good is our Canadiana rule book if even the Prime Minister doesn’t follow it?

Right? Am I right, here? Or are politicians now the bosses of us because they’re the ones riding around in the chauffeured limosines and spending all our hard earned working family tax dollars and we’re the ones strapped into writing the cheques that allow them to do it? I mean, I doubt it’s an oversight that Stephen Harper made Tony Clement the President of Treasury Board. You know, the guy who just shoveled millions and millions and millions of our, everybody’s, money into his own riding to half-build a bunch of props nobody used for a one day event. He’s now in charge of the federal Treasury. Why would we think he’s not going to do more of the same except with ALL of our money now?

I’m not sure what Stephen Harper has to do to get our attention. He’s been caught, red handed, bribing, smearing, lying, pocketing holy wafers, and now he’s actually broken the law by allowing certain Conservative Senators to resign, run for political office under the banner of the Conservative Party of Canada, then re-appointing them to the Senate when they deservedly lost. Clearly, he is telling us that, as far as he’s concerned, and as far as we’re concerned, too, he’s above the law.

Seriously, I wonder if we’re about to sit back and take four years (minimum) of “fuck you losers, we don’t follow no stinkin rules” from our duly elected government. No wait, I don’t wonder. I know we are. What I can’t figure out is why I’m so mad at Stephen Harper except that he’s right about everything he’s been saying about government and politicians since he first sought election to public office.

It’s like having Ricky of the Trailer Park Boys in charge but without the booze, drugs and hilarity, ferchrissakes. I don’t know whether we should be staging a coup or joining in the looting and pillaging. I can tell you one thing, though, if I’m getting a vicarious thrill from the Prime Minister of the country giving a giant “fuck you” to our laws and institutions and all that stuff that supposedly makes us Canadian as opposed to, well, a natural resource free-for-all, you can bet some decidedly less Canadian types aren’t hanging back to ask questions before helping themselves to whatever.

Next up, the Harper Government will cut subsidies to political parties. Great. Do it. What good are they anyway? What will be interesting is whether or not the remaining party left standing, the Conservative Party of Canada, can be taken over by forces for good, as opposed to no good. I mean, I don’t really care if people who actually want to govern the country run for the Conservative Party of Canada or the Marijuana Party. But now that Tony Clement is President of Treasury Board and John Baird is Minister of Foreign Affairs, I think it’s time we said, “Parties? We don’t need no stinkin’ parties!” and got on board with the one what’s got all the power.

Because under these guys, Canada isn’t so much open for business as it’s up for grabs, and they’ve done it from the inside. Well, millions can play at that game, right? C’mon everybody, time to join the Conservative Party of Canada and do to it what the Conservative Party of Canada is doing to us.

 

The Anti-Government Government of Stephen Harper

Okay. What could those Senate appointments possibly be except a poke in the eye by Stephen Harper to anybody who still believes that politicians, particularly anti-government politicians, can be trusted with power?

See, I get what he’s doing, I really do. He’s telling you, me and everybody else that he’s right, that all anti-government politicians are right, and it’s our own fault for not believing that he means what he says, that government is the problem, not the solution.

Every time Stephen Harper breaks a promise, he proves himself right about government. Very clever, really. And, he gets to prove his point about government being bad for four years, too.

It’s not like he didn’t tell us what the problem was way back when he first ran for public office, either.

Live and learn, I guess. Meanwhile, I think we just elected the Mother of All Politicians.

 

Breaking News

Last night CBC had a news item about a young man who died as a result of doing something I’d never heard of until last night. It’s called planking and apparently all the young people are doing it. Without helmets, too, if you can believe it, even though it involves lying flat on an unusual surface and then posting pictures of yourself doing it on Facebook. The young man who died chose to plank on a seventh story balcony railing and, as can happen at any moment with planking, disaster struck and he fell to his death. So, be careful out there, people, and if you see a picture on Facebook of someone planking, look away.

But seriously, do you ever wonder if CBC is deliberately reporting a fad in hopes that it will catch on and there will be more news to report the next night because of all the people who had no idea you could lie flat on an unusual surface and end up dead and all of a sudden a seemingly harmless fad becomes society’s worst nightmare?

There was more news, too. Some guy had too much to drink at a baseball game somewhere and caused a bit of a ruckus before he was arrested. I know, hard to imagine, but true nonetheless. We paid for that information.

Finally, the Queen visited Ireland. Apparently, she gets her kicks by instigating riots. I mean, that’s not exactly how the visit was reported on CBC, but I noticed the green suit she claimed to be wearing by way of a peace offering was actually blue. At least, it looked blue on my tv. I suppose she could have gone to Ireland and pointed out that, independence aside, Irish people have still managed to get royally fucked over by forces beyond their control.

Although, if she had, I doubt it would have made CBC news.

 

To No One’s Surprise

And once again, the outgoing government has misled the incoming government on the state of the books and, right on cue, the Harper Government, the one Canadians just elected to a majority, is “back tracking”, to quote one of its many newspaper fans, on a financial promise made during the election.

Hard to believe they’ll get away with it, but they will. “But, but, but – you guys ARE the outgoing government!”

“Canadians, hard working families, clearly, tax cuts, abor, er, tax cuts!”

And, of course, to no one’s surprise, with the exception of Conservative voters, who still find it inconceivable that anyone would think Stephen Harper would lie about anything, least of all the socially conservative agenda he came to Ottawa to implement, abortion is the talk of the country. Hilariously, all kinds of commenters on blogs I visit seem to think we don’t already have a problem with access to abortion, in that many parts of the country have none, and will assert aggressively that Feminists are just trying to make trouble.

These are people who believe in abortion rights, by the way, not people who believe it should be up to the government whether a woman brings a pregnancy to term. I look forward to the shift from courts clogged with child custody cases to courts clogged with womb custody ones.

And, as it turns out, the Conservative government of Alberta sat on the news of a massive oil spill in Alberta until the day after the election. They’ve been caught red-handed, lying about the size of it, going from a few hundred barrels to 28,000, 1/45th of the actual spill. They held the lie for 5 days.

But why do Canadians, particularly female voters, trust politicians at all, is my question. Cabinet is almost always made up of men chauffered around all day in limosines who never pay for lunch unless they’re meeting with their corporate soulmates. Meanwhile, it’s still not safe for a woman to take public transit home from work late at night pretty much anywhere in our country. One almost wonders why women pay taxes. It seems to me all we’re doing is funding the lifestyles of a bunch of parasites.

After all, don’t forget, these same men are all in the Harper Government because they believe government is the problem, not the solution. And yet, they take the money, don’t they.

I’m missing a rally for electoral reform on Parliament Hill because I’ve been suckered into going to someone’s cottage to do chores (there’s an analogy there, but I’m too jaded to be bothered making it). But I wonder at the point of it all when almost all of our media, the Canadian one, endorsed the Harper Government for re-election. This point really sticks with me because I really don’t see how it can be trusted anymore to tell us the truth about anything, to give us the news and not just government spin. I’m not talking about Sun TV, which is, at least, honest about why it’s there, sort of (it’s there to talk up tar sands development, the same reason Stephen Harper is there). I’m talking about all the rest of it, save for the Toro, er, Ford Nation Star, which endorsed the NDP.

Of course, some people (Liberals) are speculating about that endorsement as a backhanded nod to a majority for the Harper government.

Anyway, so it goes, eh? Hard to care much when there’s nothing you can do except shake your fist at the sky. The Supreme Court is next up for replacements. Expect it to be stacked with people who will rule in favour of more government intervention in our personal lives, less in the comings and goings of our corporate overlords.

And, if you’re a woman, don’t expect to be any safer coming home late late at night on the bus – no matter what you’re wearing. Politicians don’t take buses.

Buses are for voters.