Wednesday July 27 , 2016

Archive for February, 2012

Dalton McGuinty Declares His Candidacy

You heard it here first, Sooey Says reader(s) – Dalton McGuinty is going to take a run at interim leader Bob Rae to head up the Liberal Party of Canada.

How do I know this?

Well, he backtracked on his real time, “Yo, fuk dat petro dollar shit, bitch”, when the Premier of the Tarsands, Alison Redford, complained that he wasn’t being enthusiastic enough about their economically and environmentally devastating development, and replaced it with, “I care about Canadians from coast to coast to coast”.

And since Ontario is landlocked, that can only mean one thing.

Also, when he won his major minority recently, he droned on and on, thanking everybody for their support – in French.

Step aside all contenders for the big prize in 2013, the mighty Dalton is on the move up the middle.


“What do you do with a shard of sorrow?”

I read that line at the end of a short story in Ann Beattie’s “The New Yorker Stories” and immediately paraphrased it to, “How do you live with a shard of sorrow?”

I do that, improve on perfection.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie


Just kidding, lighten up, I don’t know how many times this week I’ve read, “My uncles died fighting in WWII for this?!”

I notice no one ever says, “My dad”. That’s because no one wants to admit they’re that old and on the internet. Gawd. Always posturing, eh? We have become a county of blatant posturers.

Perspective, people. Stephen Harper essentially cheated his way to the top, but it’s not like he had to kill anybody to do it. In fact, it’s almost funny how easy it was for him to completely undermine the integrity of our electoral process. One of the robocalls I read about this morning re-routed the voter to a polling booth 90 minutes away from home. I mean, c’mon: “Okay. I’ll just saddle up Ol’ Bess and head on over.” And now the news looks like a Bugs Bunny/Question Period mashup with Wily Coyote running around behind the Sheepdog’s back, up to all manner of shenanigans, while Bob Rae delivers an apology to Yosemite Sam for making fun of how he fires his guns off.

Anyway, I stand before you, divorced, no better’n Vic Toews except for the not being Vic Toews part of being divorced.

So, how DO you live with a shard of sorrow? You must know, Sooey Says reader(s). It strikes me that so many of us live this way, with sorrow for our lost families, all the memories that will never be, projecting our sadness on our children.

The kids are alright – how are you?

Okay. That’s too heavy for a Wednesday morning, so here’s a quote describing Janeane Garofalo. I plan to model the rest of my life on it, just so’s you know if my style seems a bit (more) offputting in the coming years. Wait here – I have to go to my newly re-designed Facebook page to find it.

…. An hour later…

“A self-proclaimed super-liberal sober vegetarian asexual atheist activist.”

I may tamper with the sober part because I believe pot makes me a better me. Although, it could just make me a more stoned me. Also, I’m not so much asexual as a sex magnet. Seriously. Watch out, guys and dolls.

If someone would pay me to stay home and blog all day, I would be happy enough and I suppose that’s something.

“Happy enough”  – I like it. Screw you, Ann Beattie – I came up with “Happy enough”.

Oh, here’s something I twittered the other day which might amuse you: “Hey Adele, nobody likes a showoff! Now stop singing and give somebody else a chance!”

Crap. Off to the salt mines. You’d think I’d have been fired by now so I could write about the salt mines, but oh no. Stupid gawddamned employment! I curse thee, I curse thee, I curse thee!

Omigawd. I just read that over and I can’t imagine how offensive it must sound to all you #Occupiers.

Yay! Spring’s comin’!


Calling All Government Lawyers

Wait a freakin’ minute, you pasty arsed wannabe wankers – if electoral fraud was committed – even by proxy – then the Harper Regime is not the legitimate government. And if the Harper Regime is not the legitimate government, then none of the legislation enacted under its illegitimate mandate is valid, either.

Right? I’m right, aren’t I. And I didn’t even have to go to law school to figure that out. I mean, that whole “justice must be seen to be done” thing must apply here. Who isn’t going to argue in court that the law isn’t valid because the government that enacted it wasn’t valid?

Yay, Sooey! You go, grrl! Somebody hire that non-lawyerin’ Sooey! Stat!

Seriously. I have all manner of tedious office job experience, including cleaning the kitchen on a rotating schedule and booking restaurants for retirement dinners.


I Stand with Vikileaks

What do I think of Bob Rae’s apology on behalf of the Liberal “staffer” responsible for Vikileaks?

Way to harsh my buzz, Bob.

But that’s just it, isn’t it. The Ol’ Boys do stick together. Hypocrisy from a politician – fine. Exposing said hypocrisy – not fine.

Anyway, the apology is short term brilliant because it kills so many birds with that one cheap toss of a stone. Vikileaks did all the heavy lifting and focused attention on Bill C-30 like no other bad bill has had attention focused on it before. It also told politicians, we’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take the hypocrisy of the family values Conservatives, anymore.

And by apologizing on behalf of a “staffer” (for telling the truth, but, whatever), Bob Rae and the LPC make Stephen Harper et al look like total Cockburgers (with a capital “C”) for never apologizing even when they’re caught flat out lying and stealing and calling the Canadian public radicals and pedophiles and all manner of “I know you are but what am I”.

Cynical doesn’t cover it, but there you go, the LPC has been getting between the Conservatives and all that is good for quite some time now.

By the way, I hope the gentlemen of the press feel proud. Way to get someone fired for doing the job you should have been doing yourselves, speaking of asshats.

Oh wait, that was Cockburgers.

What is not short term brilliant is that the apology makes an easy equivalence for the Ol’ Boys’ Club between election fraud and re-publishing the very compromising divorce details of a Public Safety Minister who has slandered women and homosexuals and who is not fit for public office.

Politicians and pundits, up in a tree, keeping news from you and me. All the insiders have known about Vic Toews for years. His behaviour is why he isn’t a judge in Manitoba, I believe. Politicians want to preserve the right to hypocrisy because they actually believe, in spite of reality (and social media) that they should/can still lay claim to being family men, as if the family man is superior to the rest of us. So instead of being honest about their lives (they live most of the time away from their families and surrounded by attractive young men and women who will do anything – anything – to curry favour, they all have sexcapades in their closets) they want to keep up the lie that only the family man will do.

Take your apology and shove it, Bob Rae. I stand with Vikileaks.


I Object, Your Honour

Conservative values are NOT Canadian values!