New Math Meets Alberta Conservatives
Social math is a term I just made up. It involves combining how young people appear to be behaving with numbers and probability to determine a certain outcome.
For instance, by using my social math skills, I have deduced that the proportion of children who will grow up to be gay adults living as gay adults will steadily increase even as the overall birthrate declines.
The overall birthrate will decline because today’s children have such high self esteem that they won’t feel the need to do better than themselves by having children.
Also, children are over. They peaked with the grandchildren of baby boomers, the success of the internet as a happening social scene, and the impending extinction of all the large mammals – with the exception of beef.
Baby boomers have no interest in becoming great grandparents. That is simply one generation too far removed from their sphere of influence and so it won’t happen.
And when I met my former employer’s secretary from China, here to meet her Canadian counterpart (I was so not in her league in terms of the work she was paid much less to do for said employer in China and the work I was paid much more to do for him here) I asked her about her family plans.
(I know, so rude, eh?)
She said, “We don’t want children. It’s better to be childless in China.”
This made me think that maybe for the Chinese in China, where the reality of too many people competing to live on a limited land mass is a daily experience, procreation is totally yesterday and childlessness the new black.
Social math, China-style.
Besides, look around you, television and movies have clearly had an impact on today’s North American youth – it’s just cooler to hang out than it is to pair off.
Couples = boring. Couples with kids = boring multiplied by however many kids they have before they break up and become even more boring by dividing their suburban living quarters in half.
Meanwhile, same sex marriages can only increase, with the added benefit of most couples having just the odd child here and there through various planned couplings either natural or via technological innovation – including baby-making kits purchased online.
Is there anything Al Gore’s internet can’t do?
And while the bible doesn’t specifically predict that the number of gay adults living as gay adults will steadily increase, there has certainly been enough obsessive quoting by Christian zealots of passages supposedly referencing homosexuality, that one could say that indeed, it is all part of God’s plan that they will.
Not that I believe in God, because, of course, I don’t. Like Blanche Dubois, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. Or anybody, really. People have always come through for me in one way or another.
Praise be to people, all people, gay, straight, female, male, black, white.
All people except Alberta Conservatives.
Damnation be to Alberta Conservatives.
That’s just math math.
(And when I say “Alberta Conservatives” I’m describing a type of person who can live anywhere but who is represented by the likes of Stephen Harper and Jason Kenney, who are elected by Calgarians.)
The reason I say “Damnation be to Alberta Conservatives” is because “they play politics with people’s lives”. That’s a quote by Olivia Chow and it is really all we need to know about Alberta Conservatives – “they play politics with people’s lives”.
“But Sooey”, you say, “Why single out Alberta Conservatives for damnation?”
Well, as Feminists once put it, “Why not?”
Look, when we do the math math of Alberta Conservatives having access to the federal treasury, it adds up to billions of dollars of misspent revenue, money gone and Canadian taxpayers left with nothing to show for it. But when we do the social math of Alberta Conservatives having access to federal law-making authority, it adds up to many people, not just Canadians, having their lives destroyed.
It leads to physical and mental health breakdowns, beatings, suicides, firings, poisonings, imprisonment, torture, and murder.
I could go on, but you get the equation. And if you don’t, read a newspaper or watch the evening news, or just go outside.
So what I want to know is this: What kind of math are other Conservatives doing that they still send money in support of the political organization created by Alberta Conservatives to cheat their way into federal power?
It’s not a rhetorical question, I’m genuinely curious as to why any thinking being would send money at this point to the Conservative Party of Canada.