My “In for a Penny In for a Pound” Conspiracy Theory

Speaking of Alberta Conservatives and guns (and, not that I’m paranoid, but I seem to be under cyber attack, so here’s hopin’ my Sooey Says reader(s) get this message before the black helicopters get here) reminds me of farmers and the fact that Alberta Conservatives seem really intent on making sure farmers have lots of guns – guns that our government (i.e. the legitimate one we would have if Alberta Conservatives hadn’t cheated their way into the Prime Minister’s Office) won’t know they have, in the event of, say, a food (price) crisis.

So now I’m worried Alberta Conservatives (and for the purposes of this entry, when I say “Alberta Conservatives”, I mean: “the unpleasant people currently occupying the PMO”) are going to head to Canadian farms after provoking a civil war between their ignorant and bigoted supporters and everybody else (minus the 60% who aren’t paying any attention and will continue to shop at the mall until it’s sold its last designer suicide bullet handbag at half price) to reclaim all the guns the replacement government won’t know about (unless the Liberals poison the NDP, because, of course, the Liberals know who has a copy of the gun registry, OR, the Liberals don’t poison the NDP & the NDP is the replacement government but it can’t cooperate with the Liberals long enough to find out about the guns) and take over all Canadian food production and fresh well water.

Although, the joke will be on Alberta Conservatives when farmers turn out to be socialist environmentalists. Haha – and their kids are all separatiste university students!

Also it may be possible that genetically modified wheat makes your balls grow hot peppers…

Oh, and that fracking causes psoriasis.

AND, that atheists turn out to be wrong, and there IS a god – but – he turns out to be a cow.

OMG – Alberta Conservatives would be so screwed then, eh?



5 Comments

  1. I MOL’d (mooed out loud)

  2. Have you ever been to Alberta?

  3. Been there – I lived and worked there.

  4. Belville is not in Alberta.

    Harper’s not from Belville.

    I’m not sure how to spell Belville.

    I’m feeling generous. Here. Have an apostrophe: ‘

    Your welcome.

  5. Our first day in Belleville, the cabbie told us a joke so racist we almost got dumped in the middle of nowhere…