Paging Dr. Phil

This entry is sort of following up on the Goon Squad that descended on Orleans recently at a provincial Conservative brother’s fundraiser.

(They still go by Progressive Conservative in Ontario as they do in Alberta, but, I mean, really – Tim Hudak progressive? Cripes, Mike Harris was more progressive than Tim Hudak. Stephen Harper is more progressive than Tim Hudak. Tim Hudak is a degree right of hopelessly stupid. So let’s see a lot of cooperation between the Liberals and the NDP in Ontario, please, progressive ladies, or I say it’s butts meet boots time, sister and brother grassroots.)

Meanwhile, when the fact of one elected MP and one appointed Senator behaving like a couple of fratboys on a kegger reached Conservative Party leader, Stephen Harper’s, ears, he droned on in his usual way about the government working on creating jobs.

Uh, since when do Conservatives believe in governments creating jobs? I mean, wtf? Why bother with party affiliation once you get in power, I say. Just be the Liberals.

Now, I don’t blame Stephen Harper for ignoring all the stupid shit Conservative MPs and Senators say when they’re out and about, but I don’t blame him because it’s Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) for leaders not to sweat what they see as the small stuff because they don’t really care about the little people.

Also, they just don’t want to get any on them and who can blame them for that. I mean, in this case, we’re talking about men making fat jokes about women in the age of YouTube.

But Stephen Harper’s reaction is certainly at odds with the media delivered and fueled perception of him as the all-controlling strongman of Canadian political party leaders.

The Old Monster had members of his caucus in tears, he was so frustratingly intransigent. Joe Clark was a know-it-all rube. And can you imagine crossing P.E.T. Cripes, according to John Turner, he was stuck with the bill forever after.

Stephen Harper has members introducing abortion bills every other day, complaining about how as backbenchers they can’t do anything to stop the Chinese from becoming our overlords, whining about omnibus bills as undemocratic, etc etc etc.

Now, Brazeau is behaving like the proverbial woman spurned. Galipeau, well, bigotry abounds in Ottawa. (And we all know what happens when “tolerance” commissions go out and about into the hinterland of la belle province. Yikes! Quebec made Alabama look tolerant there for a bit.)

I’m no mind-reader, but I doubt very much if Stephen Harper sees either of the above as anything to do with him, if he doesn’t see the preceding paragraph as much ado about anything to do with him, either.

Back when I worked at Queen’s Park, Bob Rae would rather have dug out his own eyes with a rusty spoon than deal with the bad behaviour of a caucus member. I remember my beau at the time (oops, don’t tell my ex) having to report a certain incident involving alcohol, fighting (and worse, but suffice it to say that my beau was very traumatized after being charged with getting said member home to bed – let’s just say he was lucky to get out of there with a certain virginity intact) and just sort of petering off as Bob took a rusty spoon out of his desk and gave him that look that said, “Don’t think I won’t. Now you just back slowly out of my office and let us pretend you never entered it.”

Also, there was the covering of his ears and the, “Lalalalalalala! I can’t hear you! Lalalalalala!”

It’s already beyond stupid, a bunch of (mostly) men, living away from home, competing for sound bites on television, all on the public dime. It’s not long before even the most conscientious cabinet minister forgets where he came from, why he’s there, who he works for – let alone the average backbencher.

The average backbencher, after all, is like short people, he has no reason to be.

And men in politics are both insulated from reality and surrounded by backroom boys and girls who will do anything for them.


It’s a fact, a political fact.

The reverse is simply not true for women in politics and you can take it or leave it but that’s also a political fact. Women and power and men and power are not the same animal. I’ve heard it said, in fact, that women suck all the fun out of power like we suck all the fun out of everything.

Well good. Who told you life was about fun, anyway.

But, putting all that aside, while at the same time adding up what we know about Stephen Harper, one can’t help but wonder if he’s just choosing his battles (like all political leaders) or if he actually thinks it doesn’t matter if members of his government act like goons both inside and outside the House.

I don’t know, quite frankly. He strikes me as someone who holds himself in higher esteem than he holds anyone else but who’s so uncomfortable in his own skin that, well, he’s not happy with us, but he’s not happy with himself, either.

And not to get too Dr. Phil, here, but I think he was embarrassed and angry about being Canadian because he perceived Canadian as passive and passive as female and female as lesser than and around and around and around he went.


But here comes IdleNoMore started by four women who, like another woman, Maude Barlow of the Council of Canadians (which the media consistently refers to as left-leaning – i.e. in search of fairness, justice, accountability – all those good things Stephen Harper says he wants for Canadians, too), are actively and actually anti-government and pro-grassroots, something Stephen Harper can hardly claim to be now that he’s the Conservative Prime Minister of Canada and every Alberta Conservative’s wildest wet dream come true – who hasn’t really done anything the grassroots would seem to have supposed was his reason for entering politics in the first place.

And there it is. The problem with being an anti-government politician, dear Sooey Says reader(s), is that government is insidious in how it co-opts even the most avid “we don’t need no stinkin’ pension” Reformer. It really is. See, Stephen Harper’s real problem now is, he likes being Prime Minister. In fact, he likes being Prime Minister so much, he’s starting to like Canada. And he’s starting to like Canada just the way it is.

Heh – so don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Kevin Page, Canada’s best last Parliamentary Budget Officer.

Look, if you can form your own political party, cheat in an election, pass a whole lot of really bad legislation for your short term gain and everybody else’s long term pain, and there’s nothing the other legitimate political parties can do about it, well, the system was broken long before you came along. You just capitalized on it because you’re “that guy”.

But now you’re “that guy” who isn’t anti-government so much as he likes being at the head of it, who hasn’t actually done what the grassroots (the original grassroots, not the 99% of Canadian media grassroots that endorsed the Conservatives for re-election) was hoping you’d do, which is outlaw abortion and stop non-white people from getting into Canada. Meanwhile, other grassroots from other parts of the political spectrum are springing up all over the place and lo and behold they’re being led by, sigh, that most annoying of radical fringe groups – women.

What’s worse is, some of the boys from the other parties, who are supposed to be part of your club, the Politicians R Us club, are fraternizing with these women’s groups – outside the House. They’re meeting, they’re negotiating, cripes, they’re being more you than you were even before you weren’t you anymore.

Anyway, it should be an interesting year, 2013, possibly quite hilarious, now that Stephen Harper has taken to Twitter to get hip with the yout’s, or whatever the point is of having him post a daily diary online, on our dime, itself a contradiction of working hard on our behalves to create jobs and whatnot.

Omigawd, and the talking points – I so look forward to the talking points. I mean, you can only get so banal, and yet, contradictory, before you’re doing your own parodies of yourself on CBC’s 22 Minutes.

So, the long and short of this entry really is that I think we may have stumbled upon a certain Canadian reality, thanks to Stephen Harper, and that we should only elect anti-government politicians.

Let the country be run by the grassroots that spring up to fight for fairness, justice, transparency and accountability.

Maybe even jobs.

And ignore government as irrelevant. After all, the next one can surely undo it all just as easily as this one did.




  1. we were about to curl up our tails and slither into bed.. when we heard the distinctive sound of a Sooey essay going off the diving board … boiiiinggg …. and the kersplash immediately afterwards. We rushed to our iPads ! And were rewarded !

    after gorging on an exceptional feast (thank you) and re-reading (like gluttons) several n many passages, we found ourselves purring like kitties, titillated by the idea of powerful political men and even more powerful back room boyz n gyrlz (of legal age, one supposes) that will do anything .. a n y t h i n g …..

    we wee salamanders wonder when we will get some poop on the mysterious man boy Ray Novak. Surely Steve n Colleen don’t begrudge him an evening off here n there during the year. It does seem he seamlessly n invisibly keeps the government of Canada, the Harper household, and the Conservative Party of Canada , the PMO, the Privy Council, the gawd almighty Caucus, and the disparate satellite states of Alberta n BC aligned to thieven Stephen’s mild mannered but dull wishes.

    rumors abound that Ray is the cat’s meow.. & the most powerful man in politics, aside from super steve. A few still think John Baird is the 2nd man down from the top of the totem pole, with squigly virgin Jason Kenney squished down there for the bronze medal..

    but us alarmed salamanders look at the tilted totum pole n see a forked tongue Harper with a hockey helmet on, resplendent n bewigged atop an anonymous backward facing physiognomy (Novak ?) who rides astride three dark black horsies named Baird, Flaherty n Clement and them three are firmly planted atop dragon clawed n furiously muzzled Kenney, Poilievre, Jenny Byrne and Arthur Hamilton. All other Reformers, Conservatives, Apparatchiks, Lawyers, Robo experts etc are subterranean, muffled.. ie the political base of the pole or statue of Harper, buried so to speak below the surface. Mackay, Fantino, Kent n Ashfield etc lead this buried, walking dead, but sanctimonious echelon.

    whooo wee Sooey … we can’t wait for your next sortie ..
    You’re like a dragoness .. that suddenly appears … flaming
    and the furry n frumious political animals go scurrying or scuttling off …
    and call their therapists .. and their stock brokers ..

  2. You are too kind. Thank you.

    Ah, the unholy trinity of Baird, Flaherty and Clement. One does wonder what Tony has on Dear Leader. My gawd, Treasury Board President, no less.

    And Ray Novak – for some reason he brings to mind Vince Foster…