Friday May 22 , 2015

Whose Microphone Is It, Anyway?

Okay, media, maybe you need your hearing tested, but men (oops, #notallmen, oh and, #somewomen) aren’t saying to your viewers, by way of your frontline female employees, “FHRITP” – they’re saying “Fuck her right in the pussy”.

Words, meaning. Spoken into microphones at your viewers.

Because we really do live in a rape culture, you know. We just have more Feminists nagging (publicly) about it here, than say, in our free trading partner countries of Saudi Arabia, China, India, where nagging (even privately) can get a female human killed.

We’re not free trading with The Congo, are we? Never mind. Don’t answer that. I’m going to pretend we aren’t even if we are.

So yeah, just a heads up that “Fuck her right in the pussy” is the same backlash that women have been tagged with, when it really should be all of society, since Feminism first reared its pretty little head.

(So yes, expect Conservative punditry to blame Feminists for “Fuck her right in the pussy”.)

Media, I’m really not sure what’s up with protecting the sensibilities of society by not saying and printing the actual verbal assault being directed at it.

You didn’t report “NMH”, you reported “No means harder”.

Seriously, c’mon, surely you know that when you don’t report the verbal assault that makes it a verbal assault, it’s just another way of blaming the behaviour of men (oops, #notallmen, oh and, #somewomen) on women by way of: “We can’t say that on television! Teh ladies!”

You’re adding to the problem, the real one, which is that girls and boys (so #allourkids) are still being given the message that female virginity equals virtue and that women who don’t look and act like virgins are asking for it in one way or another, and that we don’t say certain words because decent folk, hardworking taxpayers, family men, proper ladies, good people don’t want to hear them.

Right, and whatever you do, don’t go missing with the wrong lifestyle, because the police only have so much time and money and Stephen Harper needs all of it.

You know, the rapists in residence when I went to university became lawyers, dentists, and, of course, engineers. Maybe some of them even became media executives. Others might have become legislators, and are sitting our Parliament right now.

And maybe they’re not rapists anymore.

But we should know by now that might isn’t right and that female equality doesn’t come at the expense of men, and yet the message is still being delivered, often by you, our trusty ol’ (and new) media, that it is and they do.

So we have #notallmen and #somewomen and frontline female employees of organizations run by men (oops, #notallmen, oh and, #somewomen) left to deal with rape culture and the ongoing backlash to Feminism that is “Fuck her right in the pussy”.

It’s your microphone Mr Media. Not hers. She’s just holding it.


The Enemy Within

Commenter “mozo” just posted this link:

I invite any visiting pundits/politicians to read it. For some reason, even though I know all this, am living it, I found it very upsetting to read. That may be partly because the store manager where I work is very well paid, we figure she makes as much, if not more, than the engineer just fired from Hydro One for getting himself caught on camera sexually harassing a City TV reporter just out doing her job.

Imagine if men were sexually harassing male reporters out doing their job: “Fuck him right in the ass!” delivered to Don Cherry.

I wish CBC would stop referring to these men as teenagers. Spare a thought for the young women taking engineering at universities across this asshole country.

Yes, I said asshole country. I think we should boycott it. Go ahead, Conservative Party, throw me in prison. I need to finish my book about falling out of the middle class and into the retail class under Dear Leader’s awesome economic stewardship.

Really, the next politician to use the words “middle-class” as if it means something, please, someone give him a wedgie.

In the meantime, someone please give Pierre Poilievre an atomic wedgie. No particular one reason. He just popped into mind as emblematic of the smug stupid that has taken over politics in this asshole country – Canada.

Yours in radical downsizing



Fucking Mother’s Day – H/T Liz “Booyah!” May

Seriously, if the only fucking lady leader doesn’t make it awkward for everybody at the annual press gallery dinner – who the fuck will?

Okay, off to do three hours of dialogue for my book, that I’ve been ignoring because I’ve worked for a couple of weeks straight.

Don’t tell my mom but I’m thinking of turning down a $16/hr contract (via an agency) to come up with a strategic plan to improve the health and well-being of 2000 employees of a certain branch of government because, uh, well, hm, I’m completely unqualified for it?

Just kidding. I don’t want it because I suddenly can’t stand the thought of working in government again. Also, the commute would be about 3 hours each way given the public transit options in Ottawa.

I dunno. Is it wrong to not want to be away from home and stuck in an air-conditioned office building for eight hours a day pretending to be busy and not following fights on Twitter?

How could something that feels so right be wrong?

This may be me finally breaking the bonds of presbyterian scottishness and saying no to money and yes to the pretense of a writing career.

I wish PSAC would react to the fact that government jobs paying indeterminate employees $45-$80K are going via agencies for $11-16/hr.

Anyway, I think I’m going to go for it and NOT take the job. I’m overwhelmed just thinking about it, to be honest. Also, the best thing for the health and well-being of any government worker is to quit, but I can’t very well write a strategic plan that says that, now can I.

Hm… or can I…

I’ll let you know because I don’t want you to think I’m just a big tease about these things, but I’m pretty sure I’m blogging this to give myself the courage to do like Nancy Reagan and “Just Say No”.

Also, PSAC, I’d kind of feel like a scab taking the job so I’m not sure why you aren’t more up in arms about this shit yourselves.

Meanwhile, here’s a Mother’s Day screed I posted on my Facebook status yesterday that people liked:

I worked on Mother’s Day and so had the special treat of serving other mothers, ones with the day off, as they shopped with friends and family. One mother/daughter combo came in at about ten minutes before closing and stayed half an hour after closing, leisurely trying on this and that, while we cleaned around them. Of course, too, they left a big jumble of clothes in the dressing room that we didn’t notice until we were ready to leave. There wasn’t nearly enough staff on BECAUSE WAGE COSTS! (We make $11/hr but shoppers pretend they don’t know that even after I make a point of telling them that I can’t afford to shop where I work because I only make $11/hr. Haha, I turn into Marxist Millie the second I hit the sales floor.) We’ve had a sale on that has left the store in such a mess that we can’t find anything anymore. “Do you have-?” “I don’t know. Sorry. I have to pretend I have an urgent matter to attend to elsewhere. Shit. Did I just say that out loud? Fuck. Am I still talking out loud? Ah, the phone!” And the phone rang off the hook, and kept ringing even after we were closed. I answered it to say we were closed and this woman pleaded with me (it sounded like she was calling from Mars) to check if we had a dress – we didn’t – so then she complained about being left on hold for twenty minutes earlier. So I said, “That’s terrible. Oh my God. Are you alright? Should I call for an ambulance. Wait. Holy fuck. Am I saying this out loud?” Really, there is no solidarity. Women were being total dicks. Rejoice ye men who imagine there’s a sisterhood. Happy Mother’s Day.


Jaclyn Dawe – Still Missing

So while Stephen “tough on crime” Harper was busy making his fear of Omar “child soldier” Khadr our problem (maybe just go hide in your secret closet until after you lose the next election big guy) Sandro “thug-for-hire” Lisi’s drug charges were all dismissed.

And if Toronto police are looking for the still missing Jaclyn Dawe, it’s very much on the down low.

Jaclyn Dawe is the woman who went missing February 9, 2013, when, coincidentally, rumours of a video being shopped around featuring Mayor Rob “wanna fuck my wife?” Ford smoking crack with gangsters first surfaced.

Her car was found abandoned outside 51 Benway, favoured haunt of Ford and Lisi, where she is also known to have partied. A missing person’s report was pulled by Toronto police, without explanation, not long after it went up. Shortly after that a fake Facebook page was created for Jaclyn Dawe, claiming she was vacationing in Bangkok.

Sad how little women matter to the big guys of politics, eh?


It’s Too Late, Baby, It’s Just Too Late

Ironic that Mike Duffy’s friends, to whom he was so generous with our money, doling out $500 cheques for various and sundry (including Wikipedia scrubbing, of all nonsense!) have provided the Crown with its best case so far.

But it’s all a side show now that the NDP have been elected in Alberta.

I told my Jim Prentice story on Facebook, so I’ll share it here. It’s called “Gone, But Not Forgotten – Not In That Outfit, Anyway”.

I was at the Ottawa airport, coming back from a vacation to the Sault, working at Environment Canada at the time, when a man crossed my path pulling a mid-sized suitcase on wheels.

He was sporting a George Hamilton tan, pink dress shirt, navy blue blazer with (I’m pretty sure) a crest on the pocket, khaki chinos, and brown tasseled loafers.

No ascot, but no tie, either. Seriously, I don’t think he was wearing an ascot. Let’s go with no ascot.

Anyway, I guess I was staring, and he gave me a regal nod in passing, a slight bow of the head, and I realized where I recognized him from – he was the Minister of the Environment, my boss (several levels, categories, and buildings removed), the Honourable Jim Prentice.

I look forward to Stephen Harper’s equally ignominious exist from public life next fall.

Speaking of no longer being middle-class, which I’ve heard is only a state of mind anyway, so no worries, I’m pretty sure Shoppers is using Temporary Foreign Workers. In fact, I’m pretty sure Temporary Foreign Workers are scattered throughout our fastest growing sector, which is retail and service (of the fast food variety?).

I don’t think Canadians get it yet, that we can’t afford our way of life anymore, that the big swindle has come and gone already, that government can’t save us because it is no more. The anti-government politicians elected by the same middle-class that ALL politicians talk of wanting to save from their fate now have succeeded in transferring the public treasury over to private bank accounts, many of them foreign and out of the reach of our laws, such as they are.

Their dream, the dream of the anti-government politicians is here – taxes to the federal government are just enough to pay for unlimited warring and policing – and it’s thanks to we the people that it is.

Oh Canada. We made this big mess because we thought the good life should come cheaper than it does.

But not to worry because I’m having way more fun having fallen off the middle-class state-of-mind merry-go-round.

Trust me, it’s all in the downsizing.


Curbsides & Street Corners

Had the wildest dream last night. There was an election in Alberta and the NDP won a majority government.

What? That really happened? Cool!

But my guess is Albertans finally decided that instead of electing politicians to run their government like a business (owned by oil and gas executives), maybe it was time to elect politicians to run it like a government.

It’s what happened in Ontario, more or less. Kathleen Wynne campaigned on bringing back government (while Andrea Horvath – Horwath? – dabbled in populism) and the good people of Ontario remembered, “Oh yeah – government”.

There are a lot of us middle-class expats down here in the burgeoning retail-class. I’m naturally frugal and into downsizing though so it works for me. And even one of those financial gurus from the Mackenzie Institute or somesuch said on CBC recently that anybody who falls under the $40k mark (hah! 40k/yr is poor now and I don’t have to make even a quarter of that to live like the Queen of Pamplemousse!) will be okay in retirement because our expectations are already low.

We’ll be like church mice, if we aren’t already, able to live on crumbs left behind by our economic betters, who will be the ones to suffer in less-than-ideal retirements. Again, this is according to those financial gurus from the Mackenzie Institute or somesuch.

Who does this NDP win in Alberta benefit? Well, Albertans, for sure. But since the rest of the country is currently being run by the same Alberta Conservatives who were just kicked to the curb, Jim Prentice being a possible leadership contender after Ol’ Helmet Head, once upon a time, and a central member of his Closet, I mean, Cabinet, I’d say not the Conservative Party of Canada, which is also kissin’ cousin to the Wildrose Party, a party clearly/obviously too socially conservative for the city slickers of Alberta. Even.

Meanwhile, JT cut his hair and stopped playing the game his own random way, which used to befuddle-duddle everybody else in politics and so made it kind of fun for us retail-class lookers on. Then he supported Bill C-51 and war, and, well, my guess is he’s pushing even soft Conservative votes over to the NDP now.

So yeah, I shouldn’t be blogging because I’ve still got 3/4 of a book to write. It’s going to be mostly dialogue. I’m thinking of reading it aloud on Ottawa street corners for spare change.

I know, eh – awesome money-making ideas much, Sooey? Well yes, don’t mind if I do have ‘em!

Hey, maybe I can recruit unemployed Conservative Party of Canada politicians to play the suits at head office who are running the store into the ground, too!



This is a pretty cool development. Albertans. Who knew?


Goo B Gone

Nice that Rachel Notley didn’t get much editorial board goo on her by way of endorsements that mostly went to already gooey ol’ Jim Prentice.


No, I’m Not Still Blogging – Why Do You Ask?

The store is crazy busy. Just nuts. Mayhem. I’ve never seen it so messy.

Too funny the Globe and Mail editorial board’s endorsement of Jim Prentice and his (Progressive) Conservatives for re-election in Alberta.

(Forty) Four More Years!

Cripes, you can smell the corporate guy poop wafting out of boardrooms here in Ontario. Very fun stuff. Don’t disappoint me, Albertans.

Michael Coren has become an Anglican because he felt like a hypocrite being a Catholic. He wearied of its holier’n thou stance on same sex marriage, among other things. No mention of the “No Girls Allowed” in the clubhouse policy, but THAT’S OK. We’ll always have Jimmy Carter, right ladies?

But I was surprised that he was surprised that the internet goes on the attack when it comes to confessions of a personal nature. He should watch out for unconscionable trolls of 1001 aliases showing up with internet scrub brushes in exchange for a little scratch.

Okay, okay. I’ll let it go. But before I do a big “Grr!” to all you XY crickets out there in cyber space who know fully well how he has behaved FOR YEARS  – especially towards us XX internutters.

The troll, I mean, not Michael Coren.


Being in AA you’d think my lack of religion would be a problem (haha – also my failure to let it go!) but it surprisingly isn’t. I’ve found it to be none of my business what other people believe. I’m also passive aggressive enough to turn them into my higher power before they’re even finished proselytizing.

It’s enlightening, physically, I mean I can actually feel it, the more I focus on the here and now and accept that I’m just a wee part of the whole of this crazy nuts mess.


The Thirteenth Step

So instead of marching for workers, or more likely not, I’ll be working, having been called in on my day off to save retail from itself.

I’ve decided to just go with the flow for now, work away on my book, take shifts when they come up. I’ve gone from 1 or 2 shifts in the past few weeks (for being friends with an out-of-favour not-quite-co-manager) to 7 this week (not sure what’s going on but I’ll keep you semi-posted) so I want the $$.

I saw the young woman I give money to again the other night while I waited for my bus. She knew me but was evasive and not in a chatty mood. I did that rummage through my purse thing (I need it for a book to read on the bus, a snack in case I ever get a break at work which apparently you don’t for a 5-hour shift, spare bits and pieces of this and that) and found the $20 I keep in a separate billfold for that express purpose, and told her to take care of herself for lack of anything much else to say myself.

Naive to think as I once did that she was on her way, up and out of life lived one day at a time, except not the same one day at a time that we mean in AA, more one night at a time, I guess.

I almost went after her to let her know where I work, in case she ever needs help, but, you know, that’s kind of bullshit, too, sort of  like Canadian armed forces teaching Kurds how to handle themselves in the Middle East.

But I didn’t, and I was worried about missing my bus, and then it came, and I decided to take its surprising punctuality as a sign that life was just like that sometimes and go with the flow and try try try to stop thinking of other people as problems to solve and just live and let live.

That’s a big one, isn’t it.

And then yesterday it was crazy busy at work and on my way to catch the bus I passed a school trip of some kind and noticed a young man strapped into a wheelchair who may or may not have been part of the group. And it just gripped my heart, you know, how his physical being was such a challenge for him, and me, and I went back and forth a couple of times trying to figure out if he was with the group.

But, of course, even if he wasn’t with the group, he was with somebody, wasn’t he.

Anyway, something was said last night by someone else that made me realize how okay it is to feel what we feel and do what we do and that we all have our reasons and excuses, but it’s my life to live.

I’m just putting that down here because it’s a big step for me and I haven’t taken it yet.