A Hollywood Christmas
All things said (sticks and stones) and done (no broken bones) - Christmas is made for the movies. Not the Christmas comedies Hollywood dumps out every year starring the Home Improvement/Cocaine Bust guy - but the colourized black & white movies of the 40s and 50s. (And I could have my decades wrong, I usually do. Just last week I dated a cheque "November 15, 1996".)
My favourite Hollywood Christmas movie is Miracle on 34th Street with Natalie Wood. Mostly because of Maureen O'Hara. I'm a big Maureen O'Hara fan. No one wore clothes like Maureen O'Hara. That coat she's wearing in the opening scene is the kind of coat I'd give back all the strides made by feminists since that movie was made just to wear to a Santa Claus parade. And the hat. Ooh la la. Classy. That lady just reeks class. Purposefully bustling to and fro, hither and yon, in those perfect pumps and matching leather gloves (I guess... I've only ever seen it in black & white, so... I can only assume she wasn't wearing brown pumps and green gloves... although... I suppose Maureen O'Hara could have pulled that look off, too...), dealing with all those, those, MEN! Men who had no idea, I bet, that she had a black maid back at her apartment minding her precocious little girl - a maid she no doubt valued highly and paid well because, let's face it - she was a successful working woman - in charge of Macy's annual Santa Claus parade, ferchrissakes!
And my favourite scene of all time is in that movie. It's when she's bringing up Mr. Gailey short and she becomes increasingly agitated explaining that she doesn't want Suzy believing in fairy tales like Santa Claus because before you know it she'll start believing in Prince Charming (and at this point her back is to him and we can see her remembering the cad of a husband who took off and left her, a single mother, alone, to raise a child in an age when single women being left alone to raise a child, well, we can certainly understand her bitterness and admire her resolve). Before Maureen O'Hara loses her composure completely, however, Mr. Gailey interjects calmly, but knowingly, a perfect gentleman, "Um... we were talking about Suzy?"
Perfect. I know why I love that scene, too. My father died when I was young and my mother was determined that none of her daughters would depend on a man for financial support, even though what was true for her would not be true for us. I even picture my mother when she was younger as Maureen O'Hara-ish. Certainly I think of her as wearing that very same opening scene outfit - although I picture her wearing it during the 50s...
Anyway, the humour in that movie is pretty deft, too. And it's got a great ending. Not that I'd want Maureen O'Hara to stop working... Mr. Gailey was a good guy, but... I dunno. I hope Maureen O'Hara kept her job. I suppose she'd have to pump out a little brother for Suzy so Mr. Gailey could pass on his lawyer genes. Grr. Mr. Gailey, Mr. Gailey, Mr. Gailey. I take it back. THAT ENDING SUCKED!!!
Oh dear. And that was my favourite Christmas movie, too. I can't stand "It's a Wonderful Life". Man, I hate that movie. I mean, the first few minutes - okay. But that whole big part after that when he's stuck in Pottersville on account of stupid, stupid Uncle Billy. I can't stand it. And what kind of person loses it like that because of a little financial adversity, anyway? And Donna Reed with her big open trusting face. God. Clearly she never had a Prince Charming come along and... er... nevermind.
The Bishop's Wife I used to like because I'm a David Niven fan, but I can no longer take the miscasting of David Niven as the Bishop and Cary Grant as the Angel. It should have been the other way around. WIth a sex scene between Loretta Young and David Niven while Cary Grant is stuck in the chair. (In case you haven't seen it - there's a pivotal scene in the movie when we see David Niven realize the folly of his ways. Or rather, when we see David Niven reach a point of total frustration trying to extort money out of a rich old lady. Or, I dunno. When we see David Niven get stuck in a chair. Anyway, it happens while Cary Grant, the angel, is out swanning about with "the Bishop's wife", Loretta Young, the impossibly thin, doe-eyed, Loretta Young. It's very funny. Although, Cary Grant mugging at the camera ala Arsenic and Old Lace while stuck in a chair while David Niven is fornicating with his wife, the impossibly thin and doe-eyed Loretta Young would have been funnier.)
Let's see... I can't stand any of the Scrooge movies. Those old British acting accents are just too much for my modern ear anymore. One Magic Christmas gets an honourable mention because I saw it at the theatre and thought it made a really good stab at becoming a modern classic in the Christmas movie line-up. I'll probably rent it on DVD this year because I don't think my kids have seen it on account of they've seen that "You'll poke your eye out, kid" movie about a bazillion times. (That's the movie that taught me how to do a Chinese accent: "Deck the harrs with bows of horry, fah ra ra ra rah, ra ra ra rah.")
Feel free to comment with your favourite Christmas movie suggestions. Not that I'm really open to trying new things at Christmas, now that I think of it. But comment away, anyway. You never know. Christmas comes but once a year.
Although... those years really seem to piggyback in these modern times - awfurry fast.
