"Merry CHRIST mas"
So I was watching CBC the other evening when this asshole comes on the screen ranting about how nobody says, "Merry Christmas" anymore. That it's always, "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings". Or somesuch generic Christian culture eliminator.
Now, not to be a multiculturalist, or "terrorist", but he was on the national broadcaster, given a prime evening news slot, to shriek at viewers, "Merry Christmas!!" several times. The irony completely escaped him, I'm sure - since I assume he was paid for his efforts - but, really. You can co-opt the national broadcaster to shriek, "Merry Christmas!!" at the entire country and you're the holiday underdog here? YOUR culture is under siege? By whom? Private broadcastors who won't air your, "Merry Christmas" rants?
I was thinking about writing a letter, actually. Until I heard some of the letters written to CBC by its viewers on other stories. Yikes. I had no idea the national broadcaster had an audience of almost exclusively crabby old people. I mean, it seems to FEATURE a lot of crabby old people - especially on its political panels, but then - so do the private broadcasters. And Michael Coren has Claire Hoy on his show - and they don't get much crabbier and older'n Claire Hoy. What bug is up THAT guy's ass, anyway? Cripes, a well paid hack who has nothing but contempt for the system that made him everything he is today.
Oh.
But back to The Ranting Man. His name, apparently, is Earl McRae. I don't know how relevant that is because I'd never heard of Earl McRae until he showed up on Warren Kinsella's Top Ten List of people Warren Kinsella doesn't like. And, in spite of HIS efforts to make a name for himself, I don't really know much about who Warren Kinsella is, either.
What I do know, is that he's white and Christian, Earl McRae is white and likes shrieking, "Merry Christmas" at viewers from the safety of the national broadcaster, and Claire Hoy is white and very bitter about everything - although probably not about being white.
I'm white, but I'm a woman. A feminist, actually. On the left. So I don't see this erosion of the world around me. I only see more opportunities. For me and mine. NOT that I'm anywhere NEAR having a five minute rant spot on our national broadcaster - I'm juss sayin', "Life is lookin' good fo' bitches." We've got a pink book and everything.
And I know a lot of people who feel the same way. None of us have much in the way of power, though. At least, not the power to communicate our views that Christmas, Merry Christmas, is the new black. Yes indeed, far from putting the Christ back in Christmas, the Christmas brigade has leapt right past that bullcrap to making Merry Christmas the new black.
It's true. I've had several people say, "Merry Christmas" to me already this year and it started last week - a good two weeks before Christmas. I've been tempted to respond with, "Christmas? What the fuck is Christmas?" but I'm wondering if a simple, "What's that supposed to mean?" or, "Are you on drugs?", or "Fuck off, wiseguy - can't you see I'm a Secular Humanist?!" would do.
Because really, I think even, "Happy Holidays" and "Season's Greetings" are an infringement on my personal space. What about people who don't have holidayS to be happy about because they only get Christmas day off because they're working right through YOUR holidayS because they work in the service industry. Or whatever.
"Season's Greetings"? What if you have seasonal affected disorder and everytime someone says, "Season's Greetings" it's like a slap in the face. Another reminder that you don't cut it in today's world. That you can't even adapt to the joy of winter. That you are merely taking up space until spring.
Anyway, I thought all this until I got my "Holiday Greetings" card from Rogers. Then I wanted to smash in my TV and toss my computer out the window and just take my life right off the grid. Say goodbye to Christian culture once and for all. Alas, I have teenagers. And I don't want to risk sending Rogers a "Fuck Off" greeting back because I figure it will end up on my file somewhere and the next time the service goes down for no apparent reason, I'll hesitate to call and ask, "So... what... I'm paying for Ted Rogers to get richer by not even having to provide services now?"
Say... is Ted Rogers a Christian? He looks white enough.
Anyway, this year, to get even with the "Merry Christmas" brigade (those poor holiday underdogs) I'm putting the Christ back in Christmas by pronouncing it, "CHRIST mas". I mean, if you're going to compete with the really big holidays, like Ramadan, Hannukkah, Diwali, etc. - ON A CULTURAL LEVEL - you're going to have to de-trash, de-tackify, de-trailor park Christmas. I mean nothing - NOTHING - says - NO CULTURE - like our modern day Christmas. Afterall, who CAN'T go buy a bunch of crap once a year and wrap it up and give it out? Eh? Well? Let's face it - it's not that you CAN'T shriek, "Merry Christmas!!" anymore - because obviously you can - on the national broadcastor, no less. It's that ANYBODY can shriek, "Merry Christmas!!"
But, "Merry Christ mas. Not so much.
