Alarmed and Dangerous
I had planned to do an entry today about car alarms because I've noticed they exist and I have to ask - WHY? But then Warren Kinsella did his Top Ten Bloggers annual list on his Blog:
Where Are All The Bitches, Man?
So I'm doing car alarms, which are annoying to me - AND - Warren Kinsella's blog entry, which is like "Annoying to Me, Part 2".
Okay. I'll do the car alarms bit quickly. Why is it okay, in this country of equality and fairness that we hear about ad nauseum from our various Liberal and Conservative governments, for some people - rich people - to buy cars equipped with alarms that can and do disturb the lives of other people - not rich people? Because I find it very odd that some rich asshole's car is considered more important than this poor clerk's sleep. And what, exactly, is it that we - the poor clerks of the world whose sleep is ruined by said rich asshole's car alarm - are supposed to do when it goes off at 3:00 a.m.?
Save the rich asshole's car's life?!
Because, really - I am NOT going to do anything other than lay in bed praying that the owner will show up and then the car will explode and he'll be found dead three miles away with a steering wheel imbedded in his forehead.
But more to the point - why are car alarms even legal? If I went around at night blowing a horn outside Mr. Rich Guy's mansion - he'd call the police and have ME arrested. So why can't I have Mr. Rich Guy arrested for owning a car with an alarm? It WILL go off, at some point. So, It seems to me, that I should be able to do that - OR - at the very least, take a baseball bat and, quite legally, smash the living crap out of his car when his car's alarm goes off - as it inevitably will - at 3:00 a.m.
Cars are not people. I'm not going to rush outside and save a car in the middle of the night. What I DO think is going to happen one day, however, is that some poor hothead who is suffering from sleep deprivation is going to go out and wait - with a baseball bat - for the owner of the car to show up and turn off his alarm. Sure, it's wrong to beat someone to death with a baseball bat. Usually. But if I were the judge - I'd let him off. With a warning. Next time - beat the car to death, too. For good measure.
Besides, it's not like he stole the car or anything important like that - he just beat to death with a baseball bat another dumbassed rich fucker who doesn't give a shit about other people.
Now over to Warren Kinsella and why he doesn't think there are any women worthy of making his annual Top Ten Bloggers list. Except for one woman. One measly little woman. One bloggirl who is clearly "teacher's pet".
Traitorous Suckup. Running Bitch Capitalist Sow. MAN PLEASER!!
Grr.
So here's what I think The Sisterhood should do - All the other bitches an' ho's who DIDN'T make Warren Kinsella's Top Ten Bloggers list (and that's everybody EXCEPT precious little aingie ainge butt face Warren Kinsella toe jam lover) should diss her on their blogs - ALL DAY!! Call her fat and ugly and stuff like that until she cries.
Gawd.
Her name is "Ainge", too - except she writes it "ainge" - as if she's ee cummings' or something. "Ainge"? Isn't that like "Angel"? Barf. I guess "Mary, Mother of Jesus", was taken. I bet she's a real girlie-girl, too. Yup. That's why he likes her, I bet. Because he's all Irish and Catholic and she's called "ainge" and he's all like to his wife, "You should be more like ainge. She's the only smart girl blogger in Canada, you know. And pretty, too. Smart AND pretty." But his wife's just like, "Shut your big festering gob, you pasty-arsed bucket o' shite! I'm goin' out with me bye's fer a few pints!" And it just confirms it all for Warren Kinsella that women aren't like men. Not at all. You can give them a whole blogoshpere but instead of rising to the occasion, they're all just harridans and old cows.
Except for ainge. Ainge is all that is holy. A good blogger girl.
Barf.
Again.
