Heroes of Herouxville
Good Grief. Just when I was starting to feel like maybe the New Conservative Government of Canada WOULD lose the next election and the Liberals would self destruct in some sort of massive orgy of backstabbing and Jack Layton would ride into government on his bicycle (noticeably NOT built for two... Olivia..) and we could all start feeling hip and happen'n' again like how we remember ourselves back in the Trudeau era (gawd, that old deathbed Jesuit sure had US fooled - eh?) - along comes Herouxville.
(I don't know how to do zee French accents in moveable type so don't sue Sooey, Frenchie, 'kay?)
I mean, c'mon. It's like Herouxville has a Declaration of Stupid on its welcome sign. And now - thanks to the wonders of modern technology and the world wide web - EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT IT!!!! Already this made-in-Canada latest angry white Christians movement - "Stupid R Us" - has spread to the next village.
Why, oh why does stupid travel faster'n smart?
But this all reminds me of way back when Sault Ste. Marie (hence "Sooey", Dear Reader) declared itself unilingual English because it's a typically bigoted ONTARIO town (although "typically" may be a bit harsh as there was only a minor spread of bigotry to other Northern Ontario towns where pretty much everybody was English speaking, too) and Premier David Peterson had just passed Bill 8 or somesuch saying that French language services needed to be made available in Ontario "where numbers warranted". "Where numbers warranted" was apparently the part lost on towns like Sault Ste. Marie, etc.
Now, I wouldn't mention this except it strikes me that where there's smoke there's fire and not only did Sault Ste. Marie's Mayor Joe Fratezi and his spineless City Council (as you will see momentarily) declare the Sault unilingual English, he also declared himself, in short order, the City's Chief Administrative Officer - WHILE MAYOR - and then left the Mayoring job to take the better paying one.
Yup. Chief Administrative Officer paid better, Dear Reader. And it was an easy job to get - if you were the Mayor appointing yourself to it.
There was a hullabaloo, naturally, except none of it was made by the City Council, who apparently lived in terror of incurring the wrath of Mayor Joe and were loathe to criticize him even on the most minor of questionable decisions -SUCH AS APPOINTING YOURSELF TO THE HIGHEST PAYING JOB IN THE CITY WHILE YOU ARE A SITTING MAYOR!
Eventually, two citizens took on the Mayor with the help of the only lawyer in town seemingly preoccupied enough with matters of justice to take the case. Long - very-embarrassing-for-non-bigots-and-people-who-keep-their-bigotry-in-closets-where-it-belongs - story short, a judge in Sudbury eventually ruled that City Council would have to quash a by-law in order for Mayor Joe to be in any wrongdoing - something, naturally, the lilly-livered City Council refused to do.
It's all in "The Best Man for the Job" by Harvey Simms, one of the two upstanding citizens who got the whole legal ball rolling. The lawyer who took the case is now a Provincial Court Judge. So, in a way, the case did have a happy ending. Although Joe Fratezi still stalks the earth, no doubt looking for spineless specimens of humanity to torture.
Anyway, Herouxville put me in mind of Sault Ste. Marie because it is clearly another case of bigotry gone berserk. I mean, there is a quiet small town genteel Canadian bigotry, and then there is the big neon flashing arrow "BIGOTS R US!!!" bigotry. And I would offer, that - like Sault Ste. Marie - the Village of Herouxville probably has a politician or two who is... how shall we say... slightly less than legitimate?
Otherwise - what kind of politician does that?! I mean... he's either an egomaniac, or an idiot. And, if he's both, I'm telling ya - a sniff of the books will turn up somethin'. That's fo' sho'.
But I'm just guessing. Based on history and human nature. Still, you heard it here first at SooeySays, Dear Reader -any Councillor who is stupid enough to point a big neon flashing arrow at his probably pretty looseyay gooseyay on the old financialay accountingay village-ay, absolutely screaming: "BIGOTS R US!!!" probably has been up to some other stuff, and while he may have a book written about him one day, it won't exactly be the kind his mother would have wanted to read aloud fo her fellow taxpayers at her Sunday afternoon KKK rally.
In any case, there is lots of ballyhoo on the internet about the Village of Herouxville regarding its Declaration of Stupid which reads as follows in Judeoscope (heheh - whose first reaction to the news of the Declaration was as follows: "HOLEY MOTHER OF CRAP!!!! The Islamic Menace has penetrated through to Herouxville?!" but when informed that no Muslims actually lived in Herouxville, cooler heads prevailed and it translated thusly from La Presse into Judeoscope - a great read if you're Xtreme-Israel - otherwise, just go back to B'nai Brith press releases - there's one every fifteen minutes or so):
For the record, and in case anyone is worried (or hopeful) that it is legal to throw acid in the face of a woman as long as she is wearing a veil (the wearing of which is banned in Herouxville - implying that it is fine to throw acid in the face of a woman wearing one... or something...) - it isn't. It is quite illegal, in fact. Veil or no veil. Also, with regards to the apparent epidemic of female circumcisions in Herouxville, I satisfied myself with this bit of fact checking:
Whoa! Maybe Take It to the Other 36 States, Though, Herouxville!
That is all. Now unbury Uncle Fred and Aunt Ethel up to their necks and put down those stones because that's not legal in Canada, either. Even in Herouxville.
