Your Bullshit Footprint
While I desperately wish I could claim "Your Bullshit Footprint" as my own, I am currently trying to keep my bullshit footprint to an average size 7 (ladies), so I must confess that it was my beau-de-beau beau who came up with what I believe will be the next big anti-media catchphrase - "Your Bullshit Footprint".
I do, however, claim the assist - which came as we were listening to yet another pontificator of means impart information relating to climate change to the public from a televised pulpit. I commented that it struck me as the height, width and breadth of all the human irony in the world combined that the wealthy among us were telling the poor among us that our consuming lifestyles were the cause of global warming and that now we must all work together to reduce our carbon footprints in order to save the planet.
"Wow", I said. "I wonder how freakin' big that guy's carbon footprint is that he gets to go on tv, yet again, to deliver information that has already been delivered at least several thousand times over by now."
"Yeah", he replied. "What we need is a way to measure his bullshit footprint."
And that, Dear Reader, is how "Your Bullshit Footprint" came into parlance.
Think about it. There is so much information out there, most of it being delivered over and over and over, and by the same people, that it would be really helpful to those of us who are in our modest dwellings being bombarded by this deluge of information, if we knew, at the very least, the bullshit footprint measurement of the informer.
For instance, there's the climate change stuff - and it's mostly coming from the wealthy middle/left - but there's an awful lot of stuff coming from the wealthy middle/right, too. Today I came across an article featuring the new head of the Canadian Medical Association (and private clinic operator - in the small print) going on and on about the crisis in public healthcare and the need for private care options.
Size of bullshit footprint? Well, I'd put him somewhere up in Al Gore range, for sure. Let's say... the size of a medium African country, using small and big African countries as the relative measurements. That's because he's a wealthy fellow, with obvious self-interests even a monkey could ascertain (if given the small print), who has terrific and special access to an unquestioning media that he is using to promote himself in order to make lots more money for he and his before he exits this mortal coil.
It's really quite easy to measure the bullshit footprint of an association spokesthingy or "lobbyist" as s/he/it is sometimes called. If that person has private monied interests and is talking about public services related to those private monied interests without actually saying upfront that that's what s/he/it is doing, just remember - their bullshit footprint is the size of... well... gee... you always hear about Africa without actually seeing it - individual country sizes are hard to picture. Let me just google for a minute... okay... say... The Democratic Republic of Congo (I upsized from Ethiopia because I'm on the left and have my own, say... P.E.I.-sized bullshit footprint on account of this here very blog, Dear Reader) - which has a bullshit footprint at least as big as its name spelled out in human rights violations.
So yes. I have a blog and a forum and therefore a bullshit footprint of greater size than a similar person of similar means and no real agenda. But really, I assure you, trust me - there's not much here beyond the desire to be heard. Also, a careful reading of my blog will reveal that I have no information to deliver. Therefore, it's not tainted because it's not there. All you'll find here, Dear Reader, is opinion.
But enough about me. What about all those other purveyors of information through the mass media? What about the mass media itself? Well, in the interests of clarity, I think citizens are entitled to know the size of their bullshit footprints. For instance, again, if you are delivering information to the public as an expert of some kiind, there should be a running commentary at the bottom of the screen detailing your "conflicts of interest" (for lack of a more genteel phrase) with a resulting bullshit footprint at the end of your spot. If it's television, the bullshit footprint should be shown beside you as you stand in freeze frame with a map of Africa on the other side. The screen should then cut to a single shot of the bullshit footprint with a scale at the bottom and say... Al Gore's bullshit footprint so the relative comparison can be made - as well as Ethiopia or whatever African country (Africa being where the most easily spottable bullshit footprints can be found, these days) best correlates size-wise to your bullshit footprint. Al Gore's being The Democratic Republic of Congo.
In fact, I think there should be a news channel devoted to this endeavour with an accompanying newspaper for those of us who just can't take the televised bullsh... er... news, anymore. Have the article, then at the bottom, a bullshit footprint of the informer.
And bullshit footprints needn't be restricted to individuals. You could have the individual's bullshit footprint AND the bullshit footprint of the organization, institute, business, government, etc., that s/he/it is representing. Because sometimes we dis/trust the informer when it's really the organization, institute, business, government, etc., s/he/it is representing that we should be dis/trusting. Although, certainly, many of the savvier among us would argue that all information should be taken with a grain of salt.
I doubt, for instance, the CMA guy would believe him if he were me. Because he's a pro at disseminating information, he knows what he's doing and where he wants it to go, he knows what he wants out of delivering it to the public. Me? I tend to take what I read/hear at face value and think it means something. That's why I need someone else to provide me with that guy's bullshit footprint - maybe even the bullshit footprint of the CMA - so I can better assess the value of the information being delivered. Often, people like me might find, the information has no value whatsoever - BUT - the fact that it's beling delivered and by whom may INDEED have value.
"Your bullshit footprint" - How big it it? Inquiring minds need to know.
