Eager Beavers
In case you aren't aware of "The Beaver", it's a Canadian historical magazine that recently conducted an online poll to determine who is considered by Canadians to be the Worst Canadian. Here is the link to "The Beaver":
I Knew "The Beaver" And You Sir Are No "The Beaver"
And here is a link or two to some relevant bumfphgh:
The Other Canadian Historical Beaver
Alas, according to "The PartyPoopers", mischief was made of the online poll and now SOME people are saying it was "unscientific" (see above) while OTHER people are so suspiciously happy with the results one can't help wondering if they voted twice:
And, for added hilarity:
CrushKillDestroyCrushKillDestroyCrushKillDestroy
Well, far be it from me to question the results of an online poll to determine just who is Canada's worst Canadian, which are as follows:
1. Truedope (the man who ruined Canada by letting the rest of the world know we were here)
2. Some Punk (yeah, yeah - the Queen, fuckin' hate, and so on and so forth and more of the same etc etc all over again)
3. St. Henry Morgenthaler of Abortions (why anti-choicers hate St. Henry so much I'll never know)
4. Brian Mulroney (yeah, okay)
5. The Bernardos (ew and ewer, but yeah - not as bad as Mulroney, I guess)
6. Leader of the New Conservative Government of Canada (well sure, he's fat, but Geez Louise - Clifford Olsen's fatter)
7. Our Petite Scarecrow, Celine Dion (at least she can sing, ya dumb mooks)
8. The Old Monster
9. Clifford Olsen (annoying and fatter'n Stephen Harper serial killer)
10. Connie Con Conrad (Black with a Capital B)
Reaction was swift:
I Hate the Fuckin' Queen to Infinity Squared!
So. Yeah. Online polls. But google "The Beaver - Worst Canadian Online Poll". Every news outlet has covered this story as if it is one. It's hilarious. The CBC, CTV, CanWest, Reuters - all are on the bandwagon in one way or another, actually calling the online poll "unscientific".
Oh. Really? An online poll asking Internutters to vote for who they think is Canada's Worst Canadian and I wasn't even aware of it in spite of my ginormous Internet reputation as an authority on pretty much everything? Unscientific? Since when?
Why, of course it's scientific. "The Beaver" is a legitimate historical magazine with a Board of Directors AND a staff:
However, for the record, if I'd known there was a Canadian historical magazine called "The Beaver" conducting an online poll to determine who is Canada's worst Canadian, I would have voted and maybe, just maybe, that preachy four-eyes from the Prairies would have won and it would have been even scientificker.
