Monica Lewinsky
Okay. Call me crazy, but last night I got to thinking about Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton and "all that" and here's what happened - a ginormous cerebral fizzphrap:
Monica Lewinsky - Victim? Or calculating perpetrator of the greatest political "Gotcha!" in the 21st century?
Eh? Eh? Because my companion and I were discussing government and media and whether or not there was even a need for the "and" between government and media and one thing led to another and we got to discussing Harlem and whether or not Harlem was ever really Harlem or if Harlem was just a media invention and safer'n Toronto with blacks and whites living side by side and then I mentioned that Bill Clinton had an office in Harlem now and we got to joking about Bill Clinton getting away with just a couple of affairs when it's pretty obvious there were probably millions of women who blew him over the years (there are probably at least five women blowing him right now) and then it came to me, just like that - Monica Lewinsky set up Bill Clinton for the fall of a lifetime.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think that's what she set out to do, I just think that's what she ended up doing when she realized she'd been casually tossed aside by, well, a sexualpath or whatever men like Bill Clinton would be called if we gave "path" names to men who have sex with women the way the rest of us... uh... don't.
And I like Monica Lewinsky, I do. I admire how she was able to suck up the aspersions cast on her character (as if a 21 year old intern having sex with a politician was the equivalent of Eve giving Adam that apple God kept going on and on about in the Garden of Eden like some big ol' cocktease, "Whatever you do, Eve, don't tempt Adam with a nice big juicy red apple from the Forbidden Tree of Knowledge or he'll like you better'n me and THEN you'll be sorry") and go on to parlay the whole romp into a kitschy business (me and kitsch go together like green eggs and ham, I'm telling you) of berets and handbags and Tom Green.
Not to mention the overlooked fact that she gave hope to sister and brother interns everywhere that all those "roadies" might not be in vain and that one day they, too, might get to blow the "lead singer".
But last night, as I cast my mind back, I thought, "Hm... she said many times that she was a fat girl from Beverly Hills..." and I realized - a fat girl from Beverly Hills probably has to use every bit of chutzpah she can lay her chubby fingers on and it wouldn't take a neuropath to figure out that no one woman meant very much to Bill Clinton and that she'd fallen for his empathy schtick like a sack of wet socks. (Ah similes...)
So, she did what any spurned 21 year old fat girl intern from Beverly Hills who'd blown her way into the Oval Office would do - she told Linda Tripp EVERYTHING.
Because that was always the rub for me. Why Linda Tripp? I mean, she'd kept BLOWING THE PRESIDENT!!! secret for more than 24 hours and for some reason decides to - later - much later - confide in Linda Tripp?
Uh unh. It don't add up is what I'm sayin'. Monica Lewinsky used Linda Tripp, not the other way around. She told Linda Tripp all she needed to hear to get the word out and pretty much take whatever shine off Bill Clinton that she could.
Take that, asshole. Nobody messes with a fat girl from Beverly Hills who made it all the way into the Oval Office to blow the President of the United States.
Nooooooooooooooooobody.
Anyway, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it because that's just the kind of blogger I am. Feel free to pass it along. Because that's also the kind of blogger I am.
Oh - and my companion, who is always t'inkin' - just like me - said, "Yabbut, it's not like she came out of it set for life, or anything".
"But that wasn't what she was after", I countered. "She wanted revenge. Revenge is sweet. Money? Her Dad's a doctor or something. In Beverly Hills. She doesn't need money. She'd worked her way up the food chain, blown the President and after giving it some thought decided it was only worth it if the whole world knew about it."
And that, Dear Reader, is something EVERY blogger understands.
