You'll Do
I don't know if this is an original or not but I'm blogging it here for all and sundry because I'm hoping to get it out there into the parlours of the nation. Naturally, it was inspired by me, but actually comes from someone close to me. At least, he was standing close to me when I overheard it.
Are you ready? Sitting down? Here it is:
Instead of "I do" at the alter, the bride and groom should say to each other, "You'll do".
Now, although that doesn't sound very romantic at first blush, I think it's brilliant. It totally lowers martial expectations while acknowledging acceptance on the way into marriage. "You'll do" says, "I've been around the block, I've done the legwork, I've seen what's out there. I'm choosing you over all that."
It doesn't necessarily imply "all that crap", either. "You'll do" works in all manner of ways because it also implies a certain doneness with fun. As in, "I'm done having fun, I want to settle down with someone, and I think you're as good a bet as anyone."
I dunno. Maybe it's just me, but I'm always looking for ways to rationalize marriage - and weddings. Gawd. Weddings, eh? I mean, I live in fear now of being invited to one. Who can afford it? And it's almost like the bigger the extravanganza, the more likely you are to take a good look at the couple of the hour and think, "Who are they kidding?"
The other day, I stopped into a store looking for some herbal stress medication and I overheard the youngish man behind the counter saying to his youngish woman co-worker, "I have to work the holiday because that way I get time and a half and if I work every weekend until the end of August, I can afford to take a couple of days off and go to my friend's wedding. So far, it's cost me $1,000 dollars, but I'm in the wedding party so I have to be pretty involved. Do you have any shifts you can give up? Because I'll work them if you want to take a couple of holidays or something."
In the end, I had to leave the store without asking for the medication because I was afraid I was going to slap some sense into him instead.
Seriously, how high do divorces rates have to get before people mitigate the wedding a bit with a touch of sanity? Because all of these couples are saying, "You'll do". They just aren't saying what should probably follow, "You'll do". Which is, "for now".
Unless you're a lesbian couple, I guess. Which reminds me of a joke I overheard in the same conversation:
Q: What does a gay man bring on the second date?
A: What second date?
Q: What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A: A U-haul.
Oh - and for all you politically correct joke police who read Sooey's, I can tell that joke because I'm not gay, myself, and must therefore rely on stereotypes to make fun of gay people.
