The Christmas Nazis
Have you ever noticed how the Christmas Nazis, the handwringers who decry the supposed decline of Christmas to all and sundry starting the day after Halloween, get louder and more ubiquitous every single Gawddamned year?
Geez Louise. Dudes, if anything, Christmas is growing in inverse proportion to the pleasure any of us derive from it. Christmas hasn't changed - everything else has. Christmas is the same megamonolithic Holiday Season (I mean, I can't even NOT capitalize "Holiday Season"!!! for Christ's sake) that it ever was except more - in spite of the Global Village, the divorce rate, and the fact that Christmas is now made in China.
Let's face it. Christmas is a nightmare for separated families, an annual uber reminder that we have failed Society by straying from the unwritten commandment: "Thou Shall Fit Thyself Into The Family Template". I mean, it only takes having one foot off the grid before one realizes, "Hey... Society doesn't want me to pursue happiness at all!" By the time that second foot is off - if you're a woman, anyway - you may as well dig yourself a spidey hole with a sign outside "WMD Lives Here".
One is never more aware of Christmas than when one has jumped off the Family Template of Society. And since 50% of us have, you'd think we'd summon our numbers to tell Society to go fuck itself. Particularly over the Holiday Season. Just go fuck yourself, Society, and do it over and over and over. Because you obviously care more about Christmas than you do about us.
Oh, and by the way, Christmas is the Anti-Christ. You heard it here first on SooeySays.
