Holy Friday, Batman!
I dunno but there's something inappropriate sounding in a hearty "Happy Easter, Christian!"
But, of course, I am a heathen.
Cripes, being a heathen is so awkward on Good Friday. Thank Gawd it's a Statutory Holiday and we all get to celebrate it in our own Christian way, away from Christian co-workers. And it's really so much more humane, now, than when you were a little girl and powerless against Christianity being shoved down your throat by educators, politicians, family friends, uncles, ministers, the whole time thinking "what a sexist load!" - while you sport a brand new Easter bonnet.
Indeed, little girls grow up feeling just like Judas must have felt, the way we betray our core beliefs just to get the religious bling. And there's always the upside for literally fatherless girls of pleasing so easily men who really really really just want you to believe in Christianity so your soul will be saved and you'll stop agitating for the right to wear pants to school.
Still, without Judas and hypocrites, what would there be to forgive, eh? And I remember reading once that forgiveness is the cornerstone of Catholicism. Not confession, but forgiveness. So yeah, I forgive you, all you Christian men who fed me a steady diet of misogynistic propaganda so that I could grow up to be a Feminist and enjoy watching people cross the street when they see me marching towards them with my placard "Get Your Hands Off My Womb!"
But seriously, there's something vaguely anti-Semitic about these annual Easter parades, don't you think? I mean, c'mon. They seem to get more elaborate every year, too - especially in that "they knew not what they did" passive aggressive way martyrs have of damning everybody else to a figurative hell, the old "when did you stop beating your wife" leading lynchpin of Christianity always dangling in your face, while you're left with, "That wasn't even Christ, you fuckers."
Or is it just Christian culture asserting itself in the face of the Islamic Menace? You know, sort of a home front resistance movement, as the faithful do their bit in the War on Terror. Still, okay okay, we get it. Christ was killed. Over and over and over. By persons in the wrong place at the wrong time. No wait, the right place at the wrong time. And you're just... reminding us year after year after year - with a Statutory Holiday and Holiest of Holy parades in communities all across the country.
Not that Jesus wouldn't be down with it, I guess. At least, if you can believe Paul, otherwise known as, "Shifty the Chronicler". Because that's the latest, isn't it. That this whole charade/parade/crusade is all about Paul and what he wanted everybody to believe forever and ever, Amen.
Tsk, tsk. As Jesus would have said if Paul had thought of it, "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we choose to deceive".
