Public Office Embiggenment
Oh, give it up all you knuckle-draggers out there. That video of Tom Lukiwski acting like a total closetcase was the best thing that ever happened to Tom Lukiwski and you know it, and he knows it, and every other member of the New Conservative Party of Canada knows it. Cripes, we can all see the invisible cartoon bubble over their big fat homoerectus heads every time one of them rises during Question Period, "Thank Jesus I didn't videotape my nomination speech".
There really is no such thing as bad publicity, not when it comes to enlightening the voting public as to who some other idiots voted for, anyway. And Tom Lukiwski got an opportunity denied almost everybody else in political life, the chance to redeem himself for his middle-aged follies by admitting, in spite of his supporters, that he is no longer the man they voted for. He's better than that. And them. In fact, give him 15 more minutes and he'll be gayer'n Bill Siksay, dammit. The gayest gay on the Hill. So gay he's practically out of the closet. Gay.
Public office embiggened Tom Lukiwski.
Look, it's like this, you can say what you want, but if you get caught on video being buttiggorant and you're a public official, no one's saying you should go to reform school, but - tough nuts otherwise on the media's shocked and appalled front. Or is the press supposed to ignore retroactive evidence of incompetence to run for public federal office like it did with Stephen Harper's infamous and still out there alive and kicking "Alberta Firewall" letter that very clearly states his desire to unleash Alberta from the chains of Confederation?
StephenHarper'sMiddle-AgedFollies
I mean, an Alberta Separatist is Prime Minister of Canada now, thanks to a "see no evil" media that didn't look too closely into Stephen Harper's Separatist background until it was too late - not that all his supporters wouldn't still have voted for him, anyway. And, clearly, his desire to de-Confederate Canada is not something he left behind in his middle-ages - not in the way that Tom Lukiwski left behind wondering what it would feel like to have someone else's (other than his own) finger up his ass. Because one of the first things he did as Prime Minister was to define "Quebec as a Nation", thus legitimizing provincial separation aspirations for Quebec's complement in the west - Alberta.
And, you know, it's not like Stephen Harper has ever apologized for being a Canadaphobe, either, I've noticed - in spite of the fact that he makes a dandy living at the expense of ALL Canadian taxpayers - including Feminists and homosexuals and, indeed, Federalists.
So yeah, he should accept Tom Lukiwski's apology because at least Tom Lukiwski has owned up to the follies of his middle-aged years and has been embiggened by public office, as opposed to becoming more sour and bitter and determined to strip Canada of its Canadianness.
Speaking of which, wasn't the Bloc supposed to resign en masse way back when Lucien Bouchard was middle-aged, ferchrissakes? I mean, Geez Louise. Be some reject from Saskatchewan who says something stupid and it's the biggest thing to hit the media since Peter MacKay called his former girlfriend a dog (albeit in the House) - but be a Separatist trying to break up the country and, thanks to no one caring about what you said in middle-age - you get to go on troughin' like a, like a, like a big ol' gay energizer bunny.
I dunno. I guess I'm all out of similes for New Conservatives.
