America's Next Fat Model
Apparently, there's a catwalk fight brewing behind the scenes of America's Next Top Model amongst the gay gossips (gaysips) of fashion because the most recent winner was a Plus Size (i.e. normal) woman who had GAINED weight in order to qualify for the Plus Size crown she was destined to wear.
I, for one, care not because she was by far the prettiest of all the women to have appeared on the show to date, although I find it hard to believe she suffered at the hands of mean girls in high school as she claims. I mean, c'mon. Even I didn't suffer at the hands of mean girls in high school and I looked like a cross between an eyebrow and PeeWee Herman.
Of course, it may have been my school that defied all the odds because the prettiest girl at it was also the nicest - and she also got all my jokes, including the mean ones making fun of even lesser creatures than myself. "You're so funny. We should hang out." Alas. It was not to be. Because at my high school, the BOYS were the mean girls and she was always surrounded by them. Idiots. She could only go out with one. What were the other 9 expecting?
Anyway, this Whitney chick who won America's Next Top Model (That You'll Never See Or Hear From Again) crown certainly didn't strike me as the type to take much bullying. I mean, she seemed more than capable of dishing it out to the poor malnourished competition - but take it? I don't think so. If anything, the other models looked envious to the point of worshipful every time she fried up a potato.
But Madonna was recently going on about being an outcast at her high school, too. Hm. An outcast cheerleader, eh? How... at odds with everyone else's reality... But I guess part of modern celebrity is pretending you weren't nearly the asshole in high school that you appear to be now, because really, to hear the actors and actresses of today tell it, they were nothing in high school if not taunted and mocked and undeservedly so. I dunno. I guess if you appear in enough movies depicting one dimensional high schoolers being mean to each other (clearly I wasn't even unpopular enough to warrant mean, failing to achieve even THAT state of grace) you come to believe that it was just like that for you, too.
Sigh. I'd like to believe it, but alas, I'm pretty sure I was every bit the asshole in high school that I am now. Although, now I have the whole internet at my disposal, too, whereas back then, there was just me trapped in my locker by those loser jerks (my friends) who thought it would be fun to get through a lunch without someone (me) making at least one wisecrack about SOMETHING (ahem, okay - them).
