Sooey Says

... When a 13-year-old says, "I'm going to be the youngest person to sail around the world solo".

"No. You're not. Because the youngest person to sail around the world solo is 17 and today the world voted to make it illegal for anyone else to sail around the world solo. Now go to bed - school starts next week."

Posted by Sooey at 12:42 PM | Permalink

Ooh, it's going to be extra fun abolishing the Senate now that Stephen Harper has stacked it with his cronies. Right, Stephen Harper? Stephen Harper? Hey, where'd you go, Stephen Harper?

Speaking of sleazy hoodwinkers, remember when Reformers were all going to opt out of the pension system? I mean, seriously - what are Canadians voting for when they vote Conservative? A federal government with no integrity but plenty of homophobia?

Posted by Sooey at 05:44 PM | Permalink

Just once wouldn't you like a retiring Premier, wife standing at his side, Ol' Faithful to the end, to say that he's stepping down after ten years of leading a really boring, although geographically central, province to spend more time hitting the discos with his boytoy?

And wouldn't it be nice if the unfortunately NOT stepping down Prime Minister, when he's handing out your cash to one of his pet Conservative causes, said, right up front, that he's doling out your money to one of his partisan causes in hopes of buying votes for the Conservative party in the upcoming election?

Posted by Sooey at 12:42 PM | Permalink

When I was on the maternity ward having my first child, my ex took it upon himself to do a little cultural intervention and prevent a couple (of the non-Anglophone variety) from naming their son "Mathew" as opposed to "Matthew". That neither of us were aware of the French "Mathieu" (I know, Canadien philistines) is irrelevant since the couple was, well, not French, either. Indeed, they were an "ethnic" couple, as most of the other couples on the ward were - demographics being what they are and all. But we both have Bachelor of Arts degrees from the University of Toronto and we couldn't bear for their son to be held back in life by what we knew would be some pointy WASP teacher who would stream him into the tech high school (I know, I know - they don't do that anymore) because his parents didn't know that the correct spelling of Mathew is Matthew.

It was 1990. Long before Canadians knew there were Muslims. Or even Arab Christians - which is what that couple was. Arab Christian from Lebanon (I'm guessing, but from what I learned via the woman who worked at the convenience store near our suburban home in Ottawa - years later - that couple was most likely from Lebanon naming their son with the good Christian Mathew/Matthew).

ANYWAY, to make a drunk post shorter, I just have to say, we thought it was a little bizarre that couples from elsewhere, now/then here, would be naming their sons (and daughters) - and we encountered other couples on the ward, Italian, Polish, African - with names like Ashley and Justin - and Mathew/Matthew - instead of... well... less "Top Ten Canadian WASP baby names".

Which brings me to the point of this entry - why is it that so many Muslim parents name their sons, Mohammed? I mean, honestly, and not to be officious, but - I can see where so many Mohammeds, aged young to teen, are going to cause an administrative nightmare one of these days. As a G-person, I just want to suggest that you Muslim parents mix it up a bit. For instance, when I was in grades five and six, my teacher was a Muslim man from Guyana, first name Ahmed (second name... Mohammed...). It turns out his third name was also Amin, but we didn't find that out until a few years later - when it was safe to say your last name was Amin. In the meantime, it also turned out his first name was actually Mohammed - but for the sake of Westerners, he went by Ahmed. My point being - why are all Muslims boys named Mohammed?!

Anyhoo, the moral of this story is: never post drunk.

I think I'll leave this post as a lesson to myself. But seriously - what's with all the Mohammeds?! I mean - c'mon. THERE ARE TOO MANY MOHAMMEDS! STOP NAMING YOUR SONS MOHAMMED!

Posted by Sooey at 06:59 PM | Permalink

Well, if it's votes, I think the NDP should have changed its name to the Liberal Conservative Party.

Posted by Sooey at 06:37 PM | Permalink

Wait a minute - Right, Left or Center in Canada, what the hell do we care whether those dumbassed yankees reform their healthcare system or not? Cripes, mind your own business, everybody!

Posted by Sooey at 04:56 PM | Permalink

I've read enough about the situations concerning Canadian citizens marooned abroad to know who the real Canadians are - and they aren't the New Conservatives running our government. The real Canadians are the citizens recently (and not so recently) marooned abroad who, like me, a fifth generation Canadian, expected their government to come to their aid. The fact that it didn't, the fact that it made their situations worse by piling on suspicions while they were in the hands of foreign governments, should tell Canadians that this government doesn't represent Canadians and Canadian values at all.

I know who I am and what my values are. Who is this government and what are its values?

Posted by Sooey at 09:40 AM | Permalink

I've been following the case of Suaad Haji Mohamud's detention in Kenya and our government's failure to help a Canadian citizen in distress. Many bloggers have pointed to this as just another example of our white Christian male government's reaction to brown Muslim women. But I think they go too deep. I think our government is so wildly incompetent and fearful of offending the gone (but not forgotten - because Dick Cheney won't go away) fascists of the Bush administration down south, that it could be any Canadian (who isn't one of them, at least) stranded anywhere not being helped by our government. It could be you.

That's because this government doesn't care about Canada or Canadians. It despises everything we are that isn't American and it has every intention of destroying what it can as long as it's in power. Please. Don't vote for these nutcases again, people! They're dangerous.

Posted by Sooey at 07:29 AM | Permalink

That way, your head won't explode:

CanFemalePoliticiansNotRecallAsWellAsJohnBaird?

I'm going to pretend Justice Cunningham merely meant to suggest that female politicians work so much harder than male politicians, that they simply can't recall correctly their time wasted with same - particularly if same includes ne'er-do-wells like Mayor Larry O'Brien.

Posted by Sooey at 12:46 PM | Permalink

I recently attended a university orientation day where many actual statistics were presented to parents while their kids participated in other exercises in preparation for the start of the year. When the expression, "risk-taking in a safe environment" was used, I excused myself. It wasn't just because the expression has no real meaning, it was because the university had accepted 300 more first year students than it had residence rooms for and was pretty much ignoring the fact that, while they were preaching platitudes to a seminar room full of parents, many of whom had secured residence spots for their candy-assed brats, other parents, like me, were scrambling to find our homeless streetkids a place to live. The administration was remarkable cool about the situation, mostly because it was completely clued out about it. So I took the opportunity while there to kick a few academic administrator asses (it's fun - university administrators are really out of shape from all that easy money earned while living above it all). Anyway, I highly recommend it - kicking university administrator ass. It relieves the stress of having paid a non-refundable tuition fee only to find out your child has no place to live while attending university in a new city - quite nicely. I think I'll go back and do it again this weekend and every weekend until my kid has a place to live in the fall. Maybe it'll actually work and somebody will learn a lesson.

Posted by Sooey at 07:24 AM | Permalink

Can anyone tell me, aside from misrepresenting Feminism and Feminists, inciting violence against Muslims, slandering Aboriginal people, denying that social progress is not only happening but that it is a good thing, blaming female victims of male violence for their own deaths (when not blaming Feminists for their deaths, of course), and just generally reading like it is written by peabrained neanderthals and the women who love them - what the hell a CanWest newspaper is good for? That's right. I'm mad. And I'm not sure why corporate media is tolerated anymore when it just feeds the problem. Boycott or burn down, I say. Because here's the thing: CanWest should no longer be allowed to get away with inciting hatred against Feminists for advancing the cause of women's rights here in the West AND inciting hatred against Feminists for not doing enough to advance the cause of women's rights in the patriarchies and theocracies of the East. I mean, incite hatred against Feminists for one or the other, please, CanWest.

Posted by Sooey at 05:09 PM | Permalink

I can't help it - I'm a skeptic (sceptic?). So I think the H1N1 flu shot campaign should be called: "Kickbacks for Friends of Conservatives". As far as I can tell, and because there's so much money involved in all this fear mongering with little evidence of an actual looming epidemic in Canada, this is socialized healthcare being used for private profit by our Conservative government for its corporate friends.

Posted by Sooey at 10:10 AM | Permalink

WomanDidn'tDoEnough

Three questions:

What do male students have to do to prevent being sexually assaulted on campus while working alone late at night?
Does Carleton University have a legal department or did it just print this statement of defence off the Internet?

And the third question - this one for all you other blame the victim types out there:

What was she wearing?

Posted by Sooey at 09:59 AM | Permalink

I was arguing the merits of socialized healthcare versus privatized medicine in the comments section of my favourite blog, rehashing to my companion on our dog walk the bizarre hopes and dreams of our bretheren on the Right who would happily import the policies of a Western country that doggedly believes in state executions (when even China is having second thoughts) and my country right or wrong and an American God, when he made the best metaphor in describing the United States vis a vis us: It's our loud stupid cousin.

By the way, since I can't imagine why any Canadian Conservative would shill for American private medicine if they weren't being paid to do so, I'll have to assume that they are - being paid, I mean. And since the American "system" (if a mess can really be classified as a system) is much more expensive than our own, when our government neglects to speak up for our publicly funded healthcare system, I have to assume it's on the take, too, just like Stevie Cameron said of Brian Mulroney once upon a time.

Posted by Sooey at 01:39 PM | Permalink

At what point can the media, particularly south of the border, but to some extent up here in the Great White North, too, be accused of inciting to violence against its "enemies of all that is right and holy"? I'm thinking specifically of Feminists, doctors who perform abortions, homosexuals, Muslims, and the President of the United States - who would seem to be enemy #1, pretty much because he's not "one-of-them" (i.e. Amurrican). I mean, it seems quite clear to me that the intent is to whip up enough of a froth that some nut grabs a gun and does god's work. Again. Certainly, if the blogosphere (a.k.a. "kookoobananasphere") is any indication, there are a lot of spookily obsessed rightwingers out and about (I know, know - in their moms' basements) who seem to genuinely believe media claims that the world would be a better place without liberals. And Muslims. Although, to be fair, I suppose in the instance of liberal Muslims, both liberal and Muslim get cancelled out and they're on relatively safe ground with the Right. Gosh, what a whiggly whirld, eh?

Posted by Sooey at 12:10 PM | Permalink

Here's a true short ghost story (of course, ghost stories are almost always short, aren't they, even though ghosts themselves are timeless) I posted in a long comment over on stageleft's blog, if you like that sort of thing. Not blogs, I mean ghost stories. No one likes blogs. Blogs are like the crack of writing, if you ask me.

My father died when I was young. My mother was left with four little kids. Everyone I knew growing up described his death as tragic and everyone was affected in one way or another because he was a very decent person. I used to dream every once in a while that he was alive but had been living somewhere else. I was too young to remember him really but in my dreams he'd always tell me he was happy where he was, with his other family, and that he didn't want to come home. And he didn't want me to tell my mother because she wouldn't understand. It always left me with an empty feeling in the dream but when I'd wake up I'd be relieved that life was the way it was, that I wasn't supposed to live my life with my father alive, that it was supposed to be this way. My mother was a very straight forward person who had no patience for unreality so I never told her about my dream. Yet I grew up surrounded by his death. It was everywhere in our house, the house that my grandfather had built for my father and mother but that my mother had made her own with shag carpet and wallpaper. When my oldest was four, the age I was when my father died, I had a bit of a depression, I was carrying around a sadness that didn't really feel like it was mine but it was overwhelming. I had to fake my way through the day. This went on for a couple of weeks but it felt like years. One day, when we were getting ready to go to playgroup, my daughter looked at me and she was crying and she said, "you're going to die and there's nothing I can do about it". It was an existentialist thing, the same realization I had when I was eight or so, but she was only four. It was pretty young to think something like that. I felt like I was looking at myself, that I was my mother, when I told her to stop being silly and put on her snowsuit. In reality, I felt like I was being crushed by a surrounding weight. That night I had a dream that my father came to my house. We were living in Belleville at the time and he said it had been hard to find me but he'd been living with me for a couple of weeks. Then he said, "I wanted you to know what I felt. But I'm moving on now so don't look for me anymore and don't be sad." And when I woke up, I wasn't . I haven't dreamt of him since. I'm an optimist, which may mean I'm a believer, I don't know. All of my comfort in life has come from others, and I've taken comfort from believers and non-believers. To my kids I say life is a mystery. No one really knows anything.

Posted by Sooey at 09:46 AM | Permalink