Friday July 03 , 2015

Bye Again

Okay, going to try this again, not blogging. Oh my god it’s addictive, though, the instant gratification.

But I’m inspired by obsessive fans (not really, except for the obsessive part) to go back to the non-blogging board, stop being such a lazy stupid bitch, and write “My Book! My Book!” (etc and not its actual title, I promise) ffs. Enough already. It’s true. My writing about writing my book word count is a gazillion times higher than my actual writing my book word count.

So yeah. Here we go again. Take 100. Later, gators. You’re awesome!


Embiggenment For All

Facebook friend Morley Bolero suggests that instead of a monument to victims of communism we erect a monument to victims of residential schools.

I think that’s an awesome idea.


We’re All Victims of Communism Now

Totally want that memorial to victims of communism to be built now where nobody wants it, on the site previously dedicated to a federal justice building.

And I want it to be built there to serve as a reminder to Canadians of what can happen when you elect a bunch of bullying philistines to public office.

Yes, I know, plus they cheated. Whatever. Nobody cares.

I’m sure it’s the most politically incorrect thing to say ever, too, but the pay-per-plaque immortalizing of victims of communism sure seems like the perfect set up for a lot of historical revisionism (i.e. dodgy bullshit) to me.

But what do I know. I’m fifth generation Canadian, eh. All I know is peace, order, and good government.

Oh, and that Canada’s a country of laws.


Hahahahaha! Our Economy Is Shrinking!

Omigawd, immature much, Sooey?

Original title: Uh Oh… Honey? I Shrunk the Economy…

Now that I’ve given up any pretense of ever working in government again it was kind of ironic to have a French speaking customer yesterday at the store with whom I carried on a conversation as if it made all the sense in the world.

Also here’s how pathetic I am at boycotting now, I’m buying a linen sweater from the store because I want it. Don’t worry, I get a discount.

But I think a lot about my personal politics these days and what my actual views are as opposed to the knee jerk reactions some of us are used to having in these polarizing times. When it comes to pundits, I’ve always read the extremes (Barbara Amiel on the Right, no one coming to mind on the Left) and the moderate left (everybody anybody right of me thinks is the Left equivalent of Barbara Amiel), but these days I read more of the moderate right (everybody anybody left of me thinks is the Right equivalent of Barbara Amiel) because it’s actually a demographic I want to understand.

And I’m starting to, I’m starting to understand why they hold the positions that they do, particularly with regard to economic policy.

I’m getting inside their big pointy heads, is what I’m saying here.

And it’s fun. I enjoy the experience. And it all came about because I went looking for a positive in a situation I could have sworn was purely negative but oh well, I’ll give it a try, what’s the worst that can happen.

So it’s all good but a bit of fallout from it was that the other day I deleted a couple of comments on my blog because I’m not interested in debating my personal beliefs. I blog like some people journal. I’m interested in other people’s experiences but the internet is lousy with master debaters (har har).

Anyway, carry on. I’m off today, which is beyond awesome because Saturdays are the absolute worst in retail.

Oh yeah, anybody else find it (oxymoron alert) mildly hysterical that our nation’s economists are shocked by statistics that finally manage to reveal a contracting economy?

Geez Louise, eh?



I had an awesome dream last night that I was going to blog about this morning, but of course now I can’t remember what it was.

I’m reading “Lullabies for Little Criminals” well into the wee hours, though, so if you do that you can probably have my awesome dream, too.

I’m growing up, by the way, experiencing growth spurts, so blogging could get boggy with boogers.

Just kidding. I’ll ease into my maturity so you can’t be all, “Sooey got old, man. She used to be goofy. Now she thinks she’s so mature. I’m totally un-bookmarking her.”

I have this ideal of who I’m supposed to be, and it’s a much more active and involved citizen than I actually am, that I should do more because the more I do the more I’ve done, that I should make myself do things whether I feel like it or not, get involved, be part of the solution, join groups, get meaningful employment, visit family, friends, travel, have a job that does good.

(Okay. Whole work story deleted for book because I’m getting better at this whole book writing vs blogging thing as I mature.)

Anyway, I didn’t attend a random group social event, but I did my usual event that I do every week and that I make the time for because I know that it’s very important to actually physically go and do it (AA). And after I didn’t do the random group social event I realized that time management is an actual thing.

I know, I know, but better late than never.

Realizations being what they are it started raining realizations around here and I realized that I’m not commitment phobic, I just need to say “no” more often than “yes” and recognize that I like having a lot of downtime.

Prioritizing is an actual thing, too. Who knew?

I know, I know, every other adult on the planet.

All this to say that I’m looking to toss all my ideals of living a better life and making “good enough” my thing now.

Oh my goodness gracious. I think that’s the most freeing thing I’ve ever written here. Thanks, eh? You’re the best!

No wait, I mean, you’re good enough.



Your Morning Smile

I just saw a cartoon on Facebook that I think we can all either appreciate or lose our shit over and start a petition to have jokes banned from social media websites.

A patient is lying on a psychiatrist’s couch and the psychiatrist asks her, “Do any of your relatives suffer from mental illness?”

And she answers, “No! They all seem to enjoy it!”

Also, I saw that Conservative attack ad with the smug asshole interview panel sitting around and deciding not to hire Justin Trudeau for a bunch of subjective and arbitrary reasons that so many pundits out there in our punditocracy think is so good.

It’s as if the powers that be have no idea that thousands of un/underemployed Canadians – who still don’t have jobs anywhere near equal to the ones that we had when we were laid off by this government – imagine that’s exactly how it plays out after we shake hands with the smug asshole interview panel and leave the room.

Except for the compliment about having nice hair.

I finally said during an interview with one such panel of smug asshole interviewers on the other side of unemployment, “You realize this position is going for minimum wage, right? That’s what the agencies all bid for it, $11/hr. So that’s what this job is worth now, $11/hr. And I make that working in retail, which is more fun than working in government, so full disclosure, no, I’m not fluently bilingual.”

I didn’t get the job but the stunned look of incomprehension on the face of the Director General interviewing me for it was worth the bus fare.

It’s all good. I’d rather slum it in retail than work in government again anyway. Here today, gone tomorrow. Besides, we’re all middle-class now.



Today in Book Writing

Okay. I’ve discovered a plot device that gets me out of a jam. But it means a lot of stuff has to go, then a re-start, and good grief writing a book is hard.

Harder’n math if you really stop and think about it, which I wish I had done before I started going on and on about “My Book! My Book!” etc.

Oh dear. I just increased the talking about my book word count and decreased the writing my book word count, didn’t I.

Grr. Stupid ratios.

Well, don’t tell me I never gave you anything, cyber fans. Now get out there and feel good about yourselves at my expense!


Sick Daze

Ugh. I’ve got a cold. And is it my imagination or are colds worse than they used to be? Sore throat, aching bones, totally blocked airways, pain behind the eyes, aching ears.

But it’s all good because if you’ve ever suffered from a hangover (or a bajillion) and no longer drink, being legitimately sick with a virus that you caught through no fault of your own is almost fun.

So positives for today:

I’ll have my good health back in a couple of days. (Don’t worry, I knocked on wood.) In the meantime, I can’t do much right now so it’s a good time to take stock and build up confidence to make a few changes. Life is fantastic and only a stupid lazy ungrateful bitch would complain about it instead of DOING SOMETHING.

Yes, we had one of those corporate “be better” (i.e. do more for less) rallies at work the other day, and as I sat there listening to the motivational speaker I realized, yeah, I’m a square peg not only trying to make all the round holes be square, but trying to make all the round pegs be square, too.

McCarthy would have my head.

But I’m a people person, I like people. (If you don’t watch CBC because it’s all you have you may not get that reference but it’s from a commercial featuring a resident of a Chartwell prison for senior citizens with lots of money. In the commercial she’s pretending to be happy with her decision to give the Chartwell prison all of her pension and not completely panicked about the inescapable conclusion that if she lives too long, her rent will be more than her fixed income.)

I only contributed eye rolls to the meeting so after it I talked to the guest speaker (I felt guilty) and she suggested life coaching (of course).

But she’d already said what I needed to hear about it being my life, my time, and why spend it doing stuff you don’t want to do. And she didn’t say this so I eye rolled it for her – for peanuts, too.

And, you know, it’s not going to get any better. We really are all just casual labourers out here in this ever expanding retail work world we live in now. The message was very clear that HQ, whoever/whatever/wherever it is at this nano second in time, is committed to using casual labour to for the foreseeable future.

In fact, I doubt there’s any corporate memory left to compare how it is now with how it was when people were actual employees.

Anyway, while I’ve never minded being casual labour, and did always feel a sort of rising panic at the thought of being a bonafide employee, I just can’t respect any of this enough to keep on keeping on at it.

Tomorrow might even have to be a sick day – for a cold! Do you believe it? And we all know the end is nigh when we start taking sick days when we’re actually sick.



Sooey Starts A Thing

Every time a politician says we can’t afford to do something I think whoever is closest should shout back, “We can’t afford NOT to do it!” It’ll catch on fast, I bet.

Also the NDP should stop adding “if elected” after everything they propose to do and threaten to do it whether elected or not. You know, scare all those nervous nellies on CBC political panels into voting NDP one way or another.

And I think Canada Post’s home delivery shouldn’t just be restored, it should be expanded retroactively to include everybody with communal mail boxes. Surely there are worse things than a massive public service hiring blitz to the benefit of communities all across Canada.

Oh, and new hashtag idea: #BecauseWhyNot?


Celebrate With Tea and Toast

Well all you hardworking taxpaying families out there I just checked my bank account and week one of my two weeks of vacation pay is in – almost $200!

Whoo hoo, eh! Whoo hoo!