I think highly successful professional women need to spend more time lying on their backs and thinking of the Queen. I mean, we’ve all grown up watching Queen Elizabeth ignore the ongoing efforts of Prince Phillip to sabotage her majesty on the red carpet as she gives her subjects a queenly wave – by giving us a wave of his poxy willy while tossing off a racist joke for good measure and leering down a blouse or two. And maybe it’s because she’s from a different generation than Judge Lori Douglas, but it’s hard to imagine her, at any time, having trusted him to take nudie pics of her and NOT have them splashed all over the internet. There’s a deliberateness to this accident that simply MUST be taken into account, I’m afraid.

But it’s been ever thus, hasn’t it. Behind every successful woman there’s either a svengali or a saboteur. And it’s hard for the rest of us not to think of these women like that bugs bunny cartoon with the sheep dog and coyote showing up to work each day, the sheep dog seemingly oblivious to the machinations of the coyote behind his back. I feel bad for Judge Lori Douglas and don’t think she should lose her job because she has terrible taste in men. Partly because I’m not sure how many highly successful professional women we’d have left in the workforce if they all ended up fired because of their worser halfs. And it’s quite possible these women  simply attract rotters. So instead of pillorying the good judge with bad taste, maybe we should focus a little more on why behind every successful woman there isn’t a good man.

P.S. I’m not a REAL reporter, but shouldn’t this story be about why the other man in all this hasn’t been charged with blackmail?

Feel free to borrow it, unless someone else already came up with it and I just think it’s a Sooey original because I don’t get out and about much on the internet. And if Dostoyevsky came up with it, well, then I pretty much came up with because I’ve never read a single word by Dostoyevsky.

Anyway, false profits came to me when I read about the latest oil rig to blow up in the Gulf of Mexico. You can take it to mean that, I think, the profits that come out of businesses that have cut corners such that they come at the expense of the environment on which we all depend to survive are not real profits. They are false profits.

It’s a play on “false prophets”, of course. I don’t know who said that, either, but I know somebody did.  Jesus? I dunno. To be honest, I haven’t read a single word by Jesus, either.

But honestly, has anybody?

Omigosh – soon we, too, can be as insane or misled as 70% of Americans!

From Charlie Brooker:

Instead, 70% of Americans are opposed to the “Ground Zero mosque”, doubtless in many cases because they’ve been led to believe it literally is a mosque at Ground Zero. And if not . . . well, it must be something significant. Otherwise why would all these pundits be so angry about it? And why would anyone in the media listen to them with a straight face?

According to a recent poll, one in five Americans believes Barack Obama is a Muslim, even though he isn’t. A quarter of those who believe he’s a Muslim also claimed he talks about his faith too much. Americans aren’t dumb. Clearly these particular Americans have either gone insane or been seriously misled. Where are they getting their information?

Well, it’s hard to imagine a higher fall from the moral high ground than the NDP’s craven position on the long gun registry, which is a proven success according to at least one buried by the government RCMP study, as it pointlessly puts votes ahead of the only thing it had going for it – that it didn’t put votes ahead of the moral high ground.

So, I guess another watchdog has been fired, essentially, by the New Conservative Government of Canada, pretty much for doing his job. Anyway, this time it’s a veterans ombudsman. As I watched CBC news this evening, old footage of Stephen Harper promising a better deal for veterans was played out over the screen and I realized that the promise was pretty hollow. Rather than a pension, which was what veterans returning with injuries used to receive, the New Conservatives changed the policy so that they would receive a lump sum one time cash payment. I mean, what kind of government changes sound policies that ensure people are properly cared for, an investment sort of policy, for instant cash winnings?

Oh good, the moderate Muslims of Canada have spoken out (again) against “radical Islam”. Their declaration was even in the National Post “Canadian imams condemn radical Islam”. Paragraph one begins with the usual religiosity propagated by men of all faiths around the world:

The powers that be are constantly, like so many broken records (pun intended) telling us that we need oil, when in fact, what we need is the powers that be to reduce their dependency on the oil industry.

Here’s something I know to be true. My mom was a widow with four young children in the 1960’s. My grandmother came to live with us and my mother went back to teaching. She never had any kind of relationship with a man after my father died. What she did have was more freedom, more autonomy, more fun, than did any of my friends’ moms, some of whom were homemakers, some of whom worked. She partied, she traveled, and she put us all through university. Anyway, I was married during the 80’s and 90’s, and, guess what? She had more freedom, autonomy and fun than I did, too. But the proof’s in the statistics that the New Conservatives don’t want us to see anymore, isn’t it. Single women live longest, single men shortest, and couples live somewhere between the two.

You know, I like men, I really do. It’s the Conservative idea of men, women and marriage that I can’t stand. I mean, no wonder Conservatives love prisons so much, eh? Marriages and prisons ’til death do us part.

There’s a persistent rumour in Ottawa that the Harper marriage isn’t all that it appears to be at official functions and political comings and goings, that, well, they aren’t really a married couple anymore in the sense that… um… one of them isn’t really part of the marriage. Not in the married sense of marriage, anyway.

As someone who doesn’t much care for marriage, myself, I have every sympathy for someone else for whom it isn’t really working out, but what I don’t understand is – why the secrecy about what’s going on, if indeed anything is, or isn’t. Afterall, it’s 2010, not 1910. Or even the 1970s when Margaret Trudeau famously declared Pierre a bit of a bore and split to party with a younger, more appropriate to her times (and probably politics), crowd.

And I’m not buying the “we don’t care about such things” from the Ottawa media, either. We do. In fact, we seem to care so much about ignoring this persistent rumour that no one’s even acknowledging that there’s even a rumour. Why? If the Harpers are splitsville, that’s not big news but if the Harpers have been splitsville for quite some time – that is. Especially the part about the media not reporting it.

Why is it that girls overtaking boys academically is referred to as boys falling behind girls in school?