Whatever Happened to Pierre Poutine?

It’s all good again back at the old grindstone, style met comfort in the end, as you were, Sooey sales onward, although probably not upward.

An acquaintance from my public service days dropped in en route and we got a little up-to-date.

She confessed that her favourite job ever was a stint in retail, a chain store that sells books and starts with “C”.

No, not Chapters.

Just kidding. Chapters.

I keep saying that I never would have guessed I’d be re-inventing myself in retail sales, but who knows? And after digging in my heels, so to speak, over the whole style issue, I found myself enjoying punching it up and looking like a fashionista on the floor.

Sewing isn’t logical from a savings point of view, but I can feel the pull to Rockland Textiles. It’s the fabric store in Ottawa that real fashionistas haunt.

Funny that sewing used to be for the budget-conscious, eh? Now it makes no economic sense at all to sew.

So, the budget. You know, I’m surprised that people still don’t seem to get it, that this isn’t a real government in the sense that Harper, Flaherty, Poilievre (who I think is either Pierre Poutine or knows who is) are interested in governing.

They’re not. To paraphrase Olivia Chow, they get their kicks playing politics with people’s lives, all the while helping themselves to our money to get themselves re-elected.

And so on and so forth and more of the same etc etc. And since we know this, mostly through leaks I’m sure they’re themselves responsible for, it strikes me as a waste of time to keep going on about it.

They’re cheats, they’re frauds – get over it.

Who is Pierre Poutine? Why don’t we have a name yet? Because the Conservative Party, whose leader is the Prime Minister, is standing in the way of us finding out, that’s why. And we know this. It’s the only reason. The Conservative Party knows who Pierre Poutine is.

Meanwhile, we have to suffer through Pierre Poilievre, who addresses Canadians in the same offensive manner as he goads opposition MPs in the House, pretending that the Fair Elections Act (even the name is goading, isn’t it?) – which the Conservatives rammed through Parliament (no doubt as a result of Andrew Prescott being granted immunity for his robocalls testimony) – is for us.

Did you know that Pierre Poilievre used to run a robocall business?

I know, what’s in the water in Nepean?

Kool-aid?

Anyway, there was nothing in the budget that had anything at all to do with me. And I’m not sure why the media goes on and on about this whole budget balancing act when Paul Martin supposedly did it and, well, what difference did it make in your life?

I wrote a column for the Ottawa Citizen back in the day, asking for my piece of the surplus when we had it, because, well, I don’t know about you but I’ve spent my entire life being told by governing politicians that we should tighten our belts.

Why?

We’re like Charlie Brown and they’re Lucy with the football.

Lucky for me I’m not the living large type, I guess.

Anyway, now that I work in the private sector, shouldn’t Conservative politicians be catering to me? Aren’t I their raison d’etre? Me, the hardworking taxpayer? I barely use any public services, either, save for transit.

And here in Ottawa we pay the most expensive fares in the world, so I don’t know how much of a public service OC Transpo is, really.

I hardly ever even go to the doctor (knock on wood that I don’t have cancer) I’m so frugal with taxpayer dollars.

Also, she moved, and I’m not sure where her office is now. In the meantime, I eat right, get plenty of exercise. Don’t drink, smoke, do drugs.

Yeah, alright, I’ll go about that foot thing.

Get off my back! I don’t like bad news! And what I don’t know can’t kill me!

I’m that hardworking taxpayer Conservatives claim as their base and yet there was nothing in that budget for me.

Nada.

A Toronto Star columnist asked why Conservatives hate us so much, and I replied in a tweet: because we keep getting in the way of their transfer of public wealth into private pockets.

It was annoying, seeing one of those Canadian Federation of Business assholes smiling on the news about a budget that just makes us lesser than we were as a society, yay-ing that very fact, haha-ing a swipe at public servants because private sector workers have less, and I thought, why DO private sector workers have less, asshole?

How is it that these assholes continue to get away with cheering on politicians who reduce public services and then invade the private lives and bank accounts of Canadian citizens on the basis that they’re public servants – or were public servants – and a big plastic hand doesn’t reach out from behind the camera and slap them up the sides of their pointy little heads until they increase wages and benefits for private sector workers?

Or just hours. Increase hours. And stop hiring temporary foreign workers. Or at least lobby the government on their behalf so they can become permanent Canadian citizens.

We all know, or should, that money was stolen from public services, from taxpayers, so that Conservative politicians could pretend to us a year from now that they cleaned up the fiscal mess (they made, but never mind) and so we should vote for them again because… ?

I mean, I’m not better off thanks to the Harper government. Are you better off? Do you know anybody who’s better off? Certainly the weather hasn’t improved any since his Conservative Party cheated its way into power.

If I was confused by public servants who voted Conservative, I’ve got to say, I’m really confused by private sector workers who do.

Although, you know, it’s always possible that Canadians are just a very stupid people.

Meanwhile, whatever happened to Pierre Poutine? Do you suppose s/he was a temporary foreign worker, too?

Inquiring minds want to know.



3 Comments

  1. This is the best analysis I have read on Harper’s ballyhooed budget from a “minimum wage earner” – from anyone.

    Never mind the party spinners, the bigwig business leaders and the so called media pundits and all their hooey….. Sooey – you nailed it.

    Your amazingly clear and simple read on this is simply and clearly amazing. Informed and humorous zingejoyriding at its best.

    Much appreciated.

  2. Sorry Sooey… zingejoyriding? What the heck is that, a new word or a clumsy typo?

    Meant to type “Informed and humorous zinger writing at its best”. Thanks.

  3. Aw, thanks. I think I’ll condense zingejoyriding to zingriding – people who riff off zingers without giving due credit (heh, iow – people like me).